after tonight
i will watch you slip from my fingers and into the path that you choose
you will not be mine nor will you know that i have been holding you by my fingers all this time
i will watch you go into someone else's arms yet i will be content that you will find the person that will hold you by the tips of their fingers and hands
i will continue to treasure your smile, because let's face it, it's what i'm good at
it's been 4 years and each time i close my eyes, i see the sun shining, peaking through a cloud, like the corners of your lips that gently forms into that smile
and to the next 4 years to come, whether i will close my eyes and wake up to you by my bed side, or to an empty sheet of paper, a cold side of the pillow, a half finished cigarette, or to the smile i have treasured
you will always be the first person that i have loved ever
and i don't care if you have to wake up to someone else's arms wrapped around you
just remember that i will always be here, waiting, maybe even forever

n.j.