I have begun to scare myself//

because I do not crave the pressure I must apply to pierce my skin//

I no longer crave the relief bleeding out causes//

All I want now is my ichor to run//

I want it to gush and flow//

I want it to collide with the worlds oceans//

I crave when I heal not because I am healing//

but because I am obsessed with the little stains I find on the surface of my very skin//

The small little chaotic drawings all over my body//

And I am scared because I do not know if I crave the attention or the scars//