I have noticed that during any argument
A woman’s language is completely different
What is said is not always what is meant
You should ignore this to your detriment!
If during a discussion she lets out a long sigh
You should know better than to even try
Looking for an explanation as to why
Unless of course you really want to die

The sigh should indicate she is quite exasperated,
does not appreciate you being quite so opinionated
That you could be so stupid is making her frustrated
and if you carry on this way you are going to be berated.
The sigh may also indicate she does not want to argue
That she could not be bothered fighting with you
Stopping right there would be the best thing to do
But most men keep on digging because they have not got a clue

The alarm bells should start to ring
If she should say “IT IS NOTHING”!
Know that it is indeed something
And not just any little thing!
You would be wise never to forget
though she may insist “I AM NOT UPSET”
She is actually seething, you can bet
and you will be paying for this for a long time yet.

You should know you have crossed the line,
You need to know that she is lyin’
If she tells you that she is “FINE”!
Because you have just stepped on a landmine!
Please be warned that she just may
Simply tell you that “IT’S OK”
This only means you are going to pay
For the error of your ways someday!

You would be completely off your head,
You would probably need to be brain dead
To take her literally if she said:
“THAT IS FINE, GO AHEAD”
Do not be fooled into thinking it is true
When she tells you “IT IS UP TO YOU”
She is just daring you to follow through
knowing she objects, it’s the worst thing you could do!

And if she should say “THANKS A LOT”
Do not think you have hit the Jackpot
Because you most certainly have not
You will pay for this, not a little but a lot!
If she should say “THAT IS JUST FANTASTIC”!
Do not start thinking you are right or anything so drastic
She is actually telling you that you make her sick
She may feel she is losing and is only being sarcastic.

The last word you want to hear is “WHATEVER”
Do not start thinking that you are oh so clever
It means she will remember this argument forever
And feel free to throw it back in your face, whenever
Do not feel you have won if she tells you “YOU ARE RIGHT”
It is extremely unlikely but you never know, she might
She is only telling you that she is fed up of this fight
But rest assured you will pay for this, for many a night.

If she is desperate she may just turn on the tears
A tactic employed by the fairer *** for years
very successfully too, because it appears
this is one of each and every mans greatest fears.
If she gives you the Silent Treatment, just let it be
Buying chocolates and flowers only tells her you feel guilty
You are admitting that you’re wrong is all that she will see
And that is the way things will continue for all eternity.

So you cannot say that you have not been warned
that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
Though we come from different planets from one another
It seems we cannot live with, or without, each other
And it’s healthy to argue when alls said and done
When making up afterwards can be such great fun.
Despite our differences we should all thank the man above
For the fact that we’re loved and have someone to love.