I watch myself in the mirror
Falling apart with every tear
I wish I could get high
Like my friends
Without crashing so **** hard
I wish I could take pills
Like my mom and step dad do
But they always make me throw up
Even after one or two
I wish I could lose myself in games
Or books
Or ****
But they all bore me or only make me
Uncomfortable
I don't have a fix so I relieve myself of thoughts
By taking the blade of some scissors
And driving them into my thigh with force
It helps only a little because there's only so much
One can do
I'm depressed and stuck because I'm so different
To all of you
Nothing works but I'm willing to try
Writing used to be it
So was dancing and singing
And playing piano
And talking to my friends
But I'm older now and not as gifted
As the child I used to be
And no one wants to listen to a nutty chook you see
So now I'm alone with my thoughts
And they're slowly killing me