We dreamed of mud.
Someone shook our hand.
We scrubbed our bodies for hours.
We stared blankly at the T.V screen.
Everyone was careful around us.
We dreamed of blood.
We woke up screaming and they didn't know what to do.
We smiled for the camera,
We didn’t touch our food.
We wouldn't talk about it,
Our eyes glazed over as they handed us a piece of metal.
They said,”Real men don’t cry”.
We said “Strong men don’t cry”.
We held ourselves and cried.
Everyone said thank you.
No one said we’re sorry.
We distanced ourselves from family.
We held them close so they knew we would never let go.
They congratulated us.
They looked at us different.
We saw faces in the dark and tried to save them.
We turned on the light because they were already gone.
We felt barrels in our hands and heard foreign words in our ears.
Movies meant something different.
Life meant something different.
We cried ourselves to sleep.
Nobody knew what to do.