Take a seat. Far in the back. Yeah. That's right. Right there. In that end of the wagon where you can barely see out through the rounded corner of the window next to the seat in front of you. Perfect. Be invisible. Only look at another human when you show your ticket. You bought the cheapest one you could find. You don't even have a seat. Not really. Someone could actually come and claim the one you're in. The risk of being forced away feels all too pressing. Any second now. You pause your music but keep your earpieces in as you listen for every sound. You steal glances of every by-passer in the corner of your eye. You check the clock on your phone. It's one minute past the departure time. The train should be moving by now...

Someone sits down next to you. You notice that it's a woman but you have no idea what she looks like because in this country we don't look at each other. We don't invade each other's personal space. Very important. Sharing is not always caring. We can seem cold but that's not our intent...

The train finally starts rolling. Four minutes late. You're hoping the woman next to you isn't bothered by the sound of your chewing gum. The sound of your teeth touching. The sound you make when you swallow. The sound of your breathing. The sound of your existance. You crossed your legs a few minutes ago. Right over left. Now your left foot has grown numb and your right leg is starting to ache too...

You didn't want to go. You didn't want to leave her. But real life called and forced you back to it. They lied to you when they sold the idea of adulthood as something... Yeah, what? What did we expect? Why were we itching to grow up so badly? For all the obligations? For expensive loans? For complicated papers to fill out, food to by and a roof to somehow keep over our heads? For leaving? For abandoning love and happiness in order to do what needs to be done?

I don't want to go. I don't want to leave her. But real life called and now this train is taking me back to it.