My head's a mess. It is. I've been compromised. I've been broken. Like a puzzle where none of the pieces match. None fit. I've realized mine never will either. Because someone has taken away a few and thrown in new ones. And I'm not even sure if I can blaim anyone else but myself. It's chaos. A mess. So I've given up. The fight is over. Leave me alone to curl in the dark corners of my bed. Please don't make me open my eyes. I don't want to see. If you try you will only risk getting your own puzzle shattered. That's what I am now. That's what I've become. The very essence of "you only want what you can't have". Reluctantly indifferent. My heart is off and the switch has stuck. Not wanting to be alone, but deserving it. I'm a safety hazard. Dangerous. I can make you fall in love with me. And that's what I crave. But I have forgotten how to love in return. You think I give and give and give. When all I really try to do is take, take, take to fill myself and switch my heart back on. If it's even there anymore, in the sinus of my chest. I can't tell. I can't feel it. So leave me alone to curl in the dark corners of my bed. Please don't make me open my eyes. I don't want to see what I've done.