happy birthday

anticipated this feeling for as long as I could remember
the rule breaking rebel infested mystical theory of the coming of age, age.
and surprisingly I am affected
I am content
I am satisfied
I am not as disappointed or rather unbothered by the hyped societal numbers that defined your teenage years
and now I wonder if this makes me just like everyone else based on my feelings or based on my new found character limit
I can, however, admit that it feels good
it feels fulfilling to know that through everything you've made it this far no matter how many times you woke up wishing you hadn't
it's a reassuring simple gesture that maybe life is hope or hope is life or that maybe there is something I haven't experienced quite to the fullest extent as to keep me alive for every 12 months after the next.
no, I am not happy
no, I am not overjoyed
but I can honestly say that I don't feel as bad as I thought I would.