sometimes my heart is a garden,
sometimes it is a landfill.

sometimes
i think about love and
warmth and good,
and how i could do
anything because
i’m special and
i’m talented.
sometimes
i think
i could even go to church
and god would smile
and i would smile back.

sometimes
i think about thunderstorms
and dark and alone,
and how if i stayed
in this bed all day
every day
i could just fade into nothing.
sometimes
i’m afraid to open the window
because who knows
if today’s the day
i jump.

sometimes my heart is a garden,
sometimes it is a landfill.
and i'm looking for that
special kind of person
who can find
the treasure
in both.