People always say everything is temporary and thats what my happiness is like. you see my happiness and depression are polar opposites my depression looms over me like a storm while my happiness is like the little rays of sunlight that break through the storm every once in a while.
well you see i have compiled a list of things that qualify as “my happy”
My happy is when i can eat an entire ******* chocolate cake and not feel like a total fat *** afterwards
My happy is falling in love with a band or artist music and listening to them no stop for a entire ******* month.
My happy is finding a good anime and binge watching in a entire night
My happy Is finding a book and reading it within a day.
My happy is when you invite me over to your house to play with your cat.
My happy is a cup of tea in the morning

My happy is when I play pokemon
My happy is when im driving down the highway at 70 miles per hour with the window rolled down blasting  MCR
My happy  is when i can pull my self from the sheets of my bed that are weighing me down to go and take on the day.
My happy is when I chase the dragons smoke and it  engulfs my lungs with a hug like a relative who is visiting out of town.
My happy is the day i will wake up and the other side of my bed wont be empty reminding me that I’m always alone
My happy is when I down my pills that take away the pain.
My happy is when I am up in my glass castle in the sky where nothing can touch me or hurt me.

but you see the thing is its only temporary then I come crashing down like a angle that has just defied god.
as I lay in the shattered pieces of my castles memories of happiness reflect off the glass like movies that I can only watch but never truly live.
My happy is when I can go through the day without ever wondering whats the worst possible thing that could happen to me.

My happy is knowing that I made it this far.
See the thing is I saw my self not making it because I thought i was going to be in a body bag at the age of 15 with my wrist slit and have some ****** funeral service where people whispered lies over my casket like “i wish i got to know him better”

My happy is knowing that I will leave this town in five months time
My happy is knowing that I will never get to see your face again.
My happy is knowing that I will never have to deal with high school again.
My happy is knowing that I will someday find that permanent  happiness