You can tell him the truth. Tell him that I'm tired of walking around at 3am in the winter because I want to feel something that's as cold as my heart and I want to see roads that are as empty as I feel. Tell him that it is hard for me to find the motivation to get up every morning and put a smile on my face when half the time I'm trying to find the motivation to keep living. Tell him about the times I woke up in someone's bed, whose name I will never remember, because I just needed a distraction for the night. Tell him about all the ways I have tried to fill the void that is my heart but failed to do so. Tell him that no matter how many good days, or weeks, or even incredible days I have, I will never be able to escape this sadness because it lives inside of me and it is just waiting for the right moment to attack. Tell him that I'm having a very hard time grasping why the concept of mental stability is so foreign to me. Tell him that the only way I know to deal with my feelings is to run away from them. Tell him I am tired of everything. Tell him I love him. Tell him I am grateful for all that he's done for me. Tell him I want him to be done with me.