Feb 2015
I will forever have the marks of your finger tips from when you held me that night I cried so hard my eyes burned, just like how I will forever have the marks on my wrists and thighs from when I tried to make myself feel something that night you left.
I will forever have the taste of your lips from when you kissed me so hard that night I told you I needed you, just like how I will forever have the taste of ***** in my mouth from when I panicked so badly that night you told me we were over.
I will forever have the imprint of your eyes from when you looked at me for so long that night I couldn't sleep, just like how I will forever have the imprint of my mother crying from when she found me half dead that night you told me you didn't love me.
I will never feel happiness. I will never see beauty. I will never get rid of these memories. You will forever be branded into my dreams, and I will have nothing but nightmares.
I will always feel nothing. I will always see the ugly in everything. I will never get rid of the thoughts at night of death and how easy he is.
I am broken. I am bruised. I am empty, and I am cold. I will never feel warmth. I will never feel or see anything I did when I was with you. You are gone, and you took every part of me when you left. I no longer feel my heart beat. I often find myself holding my breath, and I never realize until I'm choking on the words I can never say to you because you won't let me. I am dead. I am nothing but a lifeless skeleton covered in the skin you held ever so gently. I will never forget the way your hands felt when you would rub my back on stressful days. I will never forget the way your voice would crack when you tried to sing to me on nights I wouldn't sleep. I will never forget the way you undressed me when you wanted to feel me. All I ever wanted was to feel you. How soft and kind your skin felt against mine. But I can never feel that again, and now all I want is to feel the comfort of death carrying me away to a world I've only ever seen in my dreams. All I want is to forget everything you burned into me. You are the blood that rushes in my veins and I think that's why I cut myself. To release you. But it never seems to work because you are always there. You will always be there.
I will forever have the taste of your lips from when you kissed me so hard that night I told you I needed you, just like how I will forever have the taste of ***** in my mouth from when I panicked so badly that night you told me we were over.
I will forever have the imprint of your eyes from when you looked at me for so long that night I couldn't sleep, just like how I will forever have the imprint of my mother crying from when she found me half dead that night you told me you didn't love me.
I will never feel happiness. I will never see beauty. I will never get rid of these memories. You will forever be branded into my dreams, and I will have nothing but nightmares.
I will always feel nothing. I will always see the ugly in everything. I will never get rid of the thoughts at night of death and how easy he is.
I am broken. I am bruised. I am empty, and I am cold. I will never feel warmth. I will never feel or see anything I did when I was with you. You are gone, and you took every part of me when you left. I no longer feel my heart beat. I often find myself holding my breath, and I never realize until I'm choking on the words I can never say to you because you won't let me. I am dead. I am nothing but a lifeless skeleton covered in the skin you held ever so gently. I will never forget the way your hands felt when you would rub my back on stressful days. I will never forget the way your voice would crack when you tried to sing to me on nights I wouldn't sleep. I will never forget the way you undressed me when you wanted to feel me. All I ever wanted was to feel you. How soft and kind your skin felt against mine. But I can never feel that again, and now all I want is to feel the comfort of death carrying me away to a world I've only ever seen in my dreams. All I want is to forget everything you burned into me. You are the blood that rushes in my veins and I think that's why I cut myself. To release you. But it never seems to work because you are always there. You will always be there.
