Dear baby- I’ve heard you’ve already got fingernails, and I want to hold your hands already and say goodbye to you the right way. Dear baby- I’ve heard you’ve got a sister, and I’ve named both of your heartbeats under my skin and prayed for you in another lifetime. On Friday I trace your lives in ****** hospital gowns and loose IVs until I’m sleeping. On Friday I ask God to forgive me and he doesn’t answer. Dear baby- I will remember you every day until I am one hundred, until I can wipe the blood from my lifelines and tell you I am sorry.