Before
you were like
all the stars in the sky
that once created a gorgeous
skyline.
Waking up in the middle of the night
was like getting my own show.
You made the nights not so hard
it wasn't a fight against my delusions anymore.
I was just one warm hand hold away
from feeling those lights
and seeing the fireworks.

Now
all the stars had gone out.
Your hands weren't quite warm
and your smile not quite calming.
It was like my defender had left
and everything felt empty.
You blamed everything going on in my life
and I blamed me.
Waking up at night was now a battle between
staying here quietly steaming alone
or
leave and hurt my best friend.
I am no where near that hand
and those fireworks had finished their show.