Every ambition I fought through the night
At the time, in my head, was a valiant fight
As onward we waded, led I in the recite:
Somehow,  some way,  after this pain is delight.  

But as evening bore down just short hours ago
Dawned clarity I feel perhaps the last to now know
This isn’t some garden where jack-**** will grow
Instead line for slaughter, only pain to bestow

I became selfish dizzied by desperate plays
To justify to myself, to you, all the days
Where somehow deluded enticed all the strays
And for granted I took each of your earnest ways

I don’t know what I became
But tonight I don’t see things the same
I’ll remove the monster I can’t name
By destroying that which I can’t tame.