Rude, ugly, hated upon, disrespectful, selfish,unwanted, loner,spoiled. That's what they see and think, but if you were to actually take the time you would see the complete opposite. You see I think the same things about myself, but carry myself other wise, as to be putting on a show. To changes the mind of a few would take the effort of changing a million, it takes the respect for oneself to gain that of others. It takes accepting you before others can do the same, but there has always been the question of what accepting yourself means.. You see l live in this Fantasy world. I live in a society that being weird isn't okay, and because you're weird and stand out you do not fit in with the mold, because my hair doesn't fall a certain way, it is not the right texture or I do not have the perfect curls. I am different ,Where loosing your virginity seems to be a trend rather than achieving the things people said you cannot.Because being thin, having a natural beauty, being tall is the best thing. I live in a society that has done nothing but made me feel so uncomfortable with my self because I am not what they define as beautiful... I live in a society that seems to be my one true enemy. As if I was born in the wrong generation as to test my ability of what it is to live. But it's is not just the physical things, it is the emotional and mental. This society had taught us to never show what it is we feel, we much not show one another our weakness's because that leaves us vulnerable. Vulnerable to what? I have never really understood why we cannot strive to be our own people, why we must be like one another. I have never really understood , why were seen and being depressed because we naturally are able to feel more sadness than others, why those are seen as being suicidal because they have come to realize that they are not ready for what this society has to offer, they are not ready to live somewhere they are seen as being uncapable, where talking is a chance to give more pills, where talking is seen as a sign of an action soon to follow. But I cannot speak for those suffering, it is me I can only speak for.  Which at times seems even the slight impossible to do, because I find myself wanting to believe that I am not like what I am seen as.. Where one day no one will have to see scars to know your aren't okay, that realizing talking is really only the best you can do for some people, and because I am writing this doesn't mean that I am " depressed" or " suicidal" . It just means that I am one more person who is able to express the way they feel, I am one more person who is able to keep going, because I am 17 and my life is an open book, each chapter is different, but will connect in one way or another , because sadness will always be my foundation, finding the light will be my only goal and the Beginning of every chapter....