I hope one day it will fade
Like the breath or smudged finger print
on a freezing window on a car
that’s driving a little too fast

I hope that one day you find her

Whether that’s me or she or we
never speak again,

at least I know you’re happy

I hope you remember

I hope my eyes are burned into your membranes and every night 

when you fall asleep you see a flash of blue
and feel a sting of red

I hope I am the forget me not and the remember me always

I’ve always been the stranger flower in the garden,

but you loved that

I hope you love yourself

like I loved you

Fully, compassionately, with a loss of all fear—

soaring on the wings 
of child-like faith

I loved you like I loved Santa, 

the tooth fairy and 

the Easter bunny—

I loved you like
I knew 
you weren’t real

I loved you like
I knew 
you couldn’t stay—


But love yourself in a new way
Love yourself within the steely
strength of a thousand straight backbones

A thousand concrete cubes

A thousand “I love you”s
You were my first kiss 

of the old year 

and my last poem 

of the new

please tell me 
I
didn’t waste my new words

on you.