I take the time
to take a breath
and pull my self together
in the pauses in our conversations

Every pause hurts more
every pause a reminder of the third wheel
the longer the silence of the passing time
the more the sting in my heart

I desire your undivided attention
but I'm partly a third
a second division
not deserving of your full magnificence

I struggle with these pauses
I struggle with your heart
I want to be your one and only
but we are just a pause apart

Sy's honger en sy krap in
die yskaste en kombuiskaste
vir haar daaglikse brood.
Soekend deur die rakke
terwyl haar siel kreun
van pandemiese hongersnood.

Sy smag na Valentines-tjoklits
en 'n P.S. wat se: "yes"
en rooiwyn met strawberries dipped in cream
, haar moed begeef haar
-sy verwerp haar teenage dreams.

Love aint all moonlight and roses...
- aint as fun as it seems

Haar mond water nou vir lippies
en jelly-hartjies en vampire tande.
So sy staan op hoeke en bedel
vir suiker...
haar oe so honger, dit brand ,
,maar kyk na haar lee hande
wat leeg sal bly
in ons liefdelose land.

-inamabilis

I am paralysed by the fear...
it grips my heart and holds
,in a firm grasp,
either by that or the pain
that travels between my body
and my heart

I sit in the darkness of the new moon
gaze set on the evening star
blazing brightly on my cold
clammy skin

my eyelids are heavy
every second is a fluttering battle
to keep them locked on
to the destination

my muscles are tense
pulling tighter in the complete lack of control
they give in
I fall

my hand shoots to my side
and is not met with the usual
damp feel of
crimson moist
but they cup the places
where my body swells
caressing the skin
as if trying to gently locate this
searing dagger lodged in my insides

I saw a vision
depicting my thread
and where the fates
abruptly cut it
short
falling short from the goals I've set out to complete

I fear for leaving
this empty world
with
empty hands
and an
empty heart

I fear the black beyond,
unknown to this heart...
and all that lies within it's never
ending reach!!
I fear the ghost behind the veil
which is soon set out to be
me...

lay my stone in emerald
and write my name in diamond
but never let it fall upon me
never let it break my wings...

instead

let me swim the ocean blue
or soar through the sky
so that through the black beyond I know
my legacy, this empty shell I leave
will forever be free

I heard your protest
those two letters singing in my ears
your proclamations cut through my clothes
and left me
****

**** on the cold hard ground

but my heart didn't grasp the meaning
my brain could not compute
I had to get back up
and embrace your person

and although you pulled away
although you thought of him
you always thought of me
when you kissed me back
and ran into my open arms

with persistence I believe
your eyes will open up
you'll see the bright new future
the one you have in me

maybe you'll regret
someday in the forthcoming winters
thoughts blooming with the spring flowers

but never that you left him
only that you did not do it sooner

and I will kiss you on the forehead
and whisper
in your ear
that is doesn't matter
as long as ,now, your here

You know its just...
                                   ah-ah
a litte crush...
                        ah-ah
it's nothing much!!

don't think too much about it!!

It's just my heart...
                                 oh-oh
that's on the line...
                                 oh-no
we're out of time!!

I thought too much about it!!

And all the tears...
                                 whoa-oh
Inspired fears...
                            whoa-oh
in a few years,

You won't even know me!!

And I...
              ah-huh
will somehow try...
                                   ah-huh
before I die,

to learn to laugh without you...

here!!

I hunger for your love, my love
But yet you feed me rocks
And other cold hard facts.
I thirst for your affirmation
Yet suffer the tyranny of
Mouthfulls of biast statements
Contradicting my hopes

I want to kiss you and,
Crawl into your bed at night
Listen to your euphoric shrieks
Because like your childhood bedbugs
I also sometime playfully bite.

But your scientific mind is
Veining over my beutiful
Dreams Of guns and roses
And other lucid stimulus.
I love you, okay
Three words not even your
Verbose tongue could complicate.

Maybe that's why.
Maybe love is a concept your
Rational mind feels threatened by
And thus conceals all pulsating
Emotion
By diction and intelectual *******.

I hate you for that.
For killing my cat.
For raising my suspicion.
I hate you for not loving me.
And not acting normally.
Always being formally
... cold and undefined

Wit le sy uitgesprei oor
pendoring gras vanmore.
haar spastiese bewegings
vroegoggend reeds bestorwe.

Stil is die nagtegal se liedjie
die roos is dood van ryp,
wyle weinig traan van simpatie
verlore in die stormpyp.

Die aarde draai en
swoeg in nag se sweet.
in sy nietige pogings om
die noodkreet te vergeet.

Haar naakte lyf le
oopgebaar, en styf
in dood se koue klou.
Dit ryp hier in die rosestad.
En die Flora-
was 'n vrou.

I was the beast
Through my veins was nothing but darkness
In my heart... nothing but hate

I ran when the moon was full
Never knew my destination, but always running
running from what dark grievances following my every move

I stalked when the moon was dead
In the absence of it's light, when no one could see
I stalked a lonely dream

Her apples were poisoned...
Tainted by the light of the sun
Corrupted by the innocence of youth

How could I not
The flesh was pale
begging bitterly to be pierced by my fangs
resistance was futile
a radiant glow surrounds
the reason for my coming demise

Cunningly, unknowingly
canines pierce the skin
I bite into the apple

Torture rang forth from the clock on the wall
Jealousy sprouted from the roots of it all
I was succumbed by emotion

Deafening

amongst the madness
the doe the dew and death
grew the sound of a beating heart

Ek babbel , babbel
Soos ń water wat kabbel
Teen klippies in ń stroom
En oorstroom ons gesprekke
Met feite en ekke
besproei jou Met
druppels van my droom

My waarheid syfer
Deur groewe beywer
Om my insig met jou te deel
Maar deur fyn persepsie
Sien hul die infeksie
Van ń mens
Wat my hart kon steel

Ek druk my hart onder die kussing en tel tot tien...
Honderd...
Duisend...
Maar dit bly ritmies klop
Onder my koue palms

Ek berê my asem in die verlede
Waar dit vermoedelik
buite jou bereik was
...maar ek het jou vermoeëns onderskat
En nou krioel my binneste met jou teenwoordigheid

Ek gooi my blik na die vloeibare goud van die Vrystaatse vlaktes
, maar jy het my reeds in jou fissier vasgeknoop

En nou openbaar ek my psalms vir die wereld om te lees
, maar hoop jy verstaan...
Ek hoop jy verstaan

Ons almal breek,bou
Snoesig toegvou
Versteek van ware
Ellende
En die ellende
Van die waarheid
Leuens maak ń knus kombers
Tot hul te veel raak
Jou storie: In bloed
Op die laken in gepers!!

The weight
of a simple human emotion
weighs me down,
more than a tank ever did
...
the pain
its determined and demanding
to ache
, but im OK
...

In the darkness and confusion that surround me
I play the song over and over again
because I too
have know found the fault in our stars...
the same stars you watched with me
when you laid next to me
on the cold and merciless brick driveway

The chorus starts playing
and with every note, nostalgia
suffocates my soul in memories
and my heart beats the lyrics in Morse-code

...
And I don't want to let this go
I don't want to lose control
I just want to see the stars
, with you
...

over and over I listen to the words
that seem to be pouring out of my heart
with more belief and ambition
then through the little speaker in my phone

...
And I don't want to say good-bey
someone, tell me why
I just want to see the stars
, with you*
...

the moon is gone
the stars twinkle brightly
they give me hope that one day you'll return
, to see them with me
to make them shine brighter...

but until then, i'll just listen
to the song...

until then,
I ache

until then,
i AM NOT OKAY

until then i'll lay in the driveway and wait...
wait for you to come lay next to me

as you once did...
as it should be

I am forever alone
Cursed to solitude by feeding the hand
that bit me... that bites me.

I am a collaboration of three word sentences
spinning an intricate web of lies
with I don't know's and yeah I'm fine's.

I am a perplexed situation of no it's nothing.
A collection of I'm just being silly's.
I am a coward.

I am also bipolar.
and maybe gay, for saying this
, but I am...

I am also inlove with you.

Call it like you see it
, its the sun chasing the moon ,
always one hour late
always one too soon.

Call it like you see it
, its the moon chasing the sun.
This game that keeps on going -
is never truly done.

Call it like you see it ,
there's an ocean in my tide
something to look forward to
whilst the sun is in my hide.

But call it what you will
The sun is never gone
, although the ocean has my heart
the sun will always be the one.

I put my pen to paper
and then I strung the noose.
I wrote a verse of poetry
but the rhythm was too loose.

with every failing word choice
my spelling sets my fate.
I birth the death of merry self
, I've been quite useless of late

and each day eagerly
my heart circles the well
dreaming of the silent bliss
of death's inviting spell

so I cast the pen to barren thoughts
in a vast mind without cause
and smoke the very paper
that saves me from remorse

I fell into this darkened pit
and smoked myself to death
,for half the time i swear I smell
the stench of failure on my breath

**** it! the word is YOLO!
You Only Love Once
everything that came before
or follows after
is written of as collateral damage.

But once your drunk, HA!
once your drunk the world is your oyster
to **** on as you please.
Who likes oyster anyway.

I will whirl my worries away
and bring them up in delightful foamy colors
as I spin the world out of control
till all your faces disappears in the blur
of a world that seems to be moving forward
without me.

Don't be a ******* idiot.
Text her , you lost your dignity when
you shagged the tree a few blocks back.
Don't you dare cry, just swear
and **** your darling.

If I was drunk, but alas
intoxication is a *****, because
you lost me whilst ******* on oysters,
and while you stole my heart
I wish you'd stop calling me a tree.
I wish you were collateral damage.
I wish I was drunk- with you.

I'm a little bit broken...
but still I live
with all the shards of my broken heart
I have learned to love

I've never seen the light of love
never tasted lips
that thought of me as human being

And when I remember last December
when Santa' s beard fell off
and he simply became my Dad
I think of you and how your eyes turned cold

When the Easter eggs lost their spark
and the hunt turned into tradition
I think of when your love was nothing more
than a piece of freezing gold

Like all my childhood beliefs,
you proved me wrong
and I was left between the shattered pieces
of rainbow glass
because you even tore down my
Saint Petersburg chapel...
and I am broken
and I am
broken

But do you know , he said
as if it was the wind through my hair
or the cold on my cheek.

How could I know, I thought.
How could I know that
death kisses like a *******
lips laced with *******.

How could I know that darkness
is such a sweet seductress
who suckles the broken
with her baring *******.

No one ever stopped
to educate the youth.
They threw books at our heads
and like a mighty god
playing the role of a very disagreeable child...

nobody told us that porcelain
hits the ground with the same
sensual satisfaction
of a broken man,
painting the walls red
with a white eyed glaze
and a bullet in his brains.

Death becomes him,
and he will wear it like a king.

Long lives the ******* king,
but I never truly knew.

There once was a hunter... who wanted to hunt a deer... but deep inside the forest lived a bear... one that attacked his prey, took it from right in front of him, and ate the succulent flesh...

One day the hunter had, had enough of it... so he stalked for hours, to find the biggest deer he could find... he laid aim... and watched...

surely enough, after mere seconds, the bear appeared out of nowhere and hit his paws into the deer... the hunter let rip a jubilant cry, and laughed as the shot rang through the trees...

it was a hit... the bear slumped down and breathed heavily... the hunter was knocked of his feet by excitement, and could feel his heart jump in joy. He head to feel it. So he put his hand to his chest...

as he laid there, staring at the beast in front of him, he looked into it's eyes, and saw something he recognized... his smile disappeared, and a single tear rolled down his cheek...

he removed his hand from his heart, to wipe away the tear... but as the front of his hand wiped the tear from his face... the back left a trail of scarlet blood

... his blood.

A rose by any other name is still a rose
but you taint the tongues and bitter the wine
you ***** the ******'s fingers...
Crimson curtains vail your face
but trails behind deciet and sorrows
even in death the taste still lingers  
to ruin on as darkness follows.

Jy beweer ek oordink dit.
Jy beweer my kop loop raas.
Jy **** stilte sal my goed doen,
Maar ek vergaan; gaan staan
In die plek van die woorde
Wat jy te bang is om te uiter...
Te bang WAS om te uiter.
En nou is dit te laat.

Woorde verlang na uitlating
En ek, ek verlang na woorde,
maar jou belydenis-sku geaardheid
Het geweier om beide aan te raak.
N hart kan leer om lief te hê,
Maar jou stilte het sy sê gesê.

I call out to lonesome mountains
and hear them crying back
there voices filled with bitterness
choking through the tears

My voice is getting hoarse
taste of copper in my mouth
yet I'll continue calling
knowing tis your humble abode

I call to trees and cobble-streams
to drew drops on the dancing blades
of grass and leaves and such
and finally to you

And when they all call back to me
and echo replies in song
somewhere among my tear-filled words
I hear your yearning heart
calling out for loving hands
to cradle and to comfort
to fulfil in its demands

and when souls meet in calling
between the mountains and the streams
slowly angels falling
as rays of ecstasy gleams

your voice meets with my echo
and makes me think of you
and elevates my heartbeat
when I know
your calling for me too

Black birds fly
and black birds cry
and then those blackbirds die
oh so young
oh so free
don't you dare ask me why
so when you love a blackbird
don't forget to say goodbye
coz blackbirds ,
they don't love you...
you're living in a lie
it's time to **** your blackbird
or at least it's time to try
to take your aim, and take it high
and shoot them from the sky

I'm searching for temptation
with goosebumps on his breath,
with fire in those wild eyes
and a sudden fear of death.

I'm searching for cold shivers
as he breaths down on my spine
and with wistful words of passion
makes love to my mind.

I'm searching for the confidence
and abundance in his word
that will lift these hollow bones
and boast his loss upon the world.

I search for those enchanting eyes
, those lips that brush with grace.
I'm searching for my happiness
yet I still don't know his face.

It saddens me to all extent
to tell this, my dear friend,
I fear my life be drowned in tears
for my search will never end...

Now be I so ignorant
as not to settle for the best
or better search for those who satisfy
and forever regret, settling for the rest?

The moon whispers all her secrets
in my ear, as I sleep
creating ripples in my pool of thought
as I slumber, I start to weep

she calls out through the mist and fog
that consume my tortured rest
no Father ever hears her song
but to me she will confess

her hollow voice is searing glass
and screeches like a lark
as eyes turn blind and all but see
my ears hear only dark

and when she's full her grievances
become too much to bear
for a lady of the moon is light
weight passes her to spare

I strip down shirts ,
and scraps of dignity
and bare my shoulders however small
so her troubles may fall on me

and so trouble free and weightless
she floats back up to space
turning back to trouble me
at her pre-monthly pace

Sickening and ******
This is the life and love I Chose?
-no , not chose , the one I got.
I was handed this was I not?
This love I have for men...

I was bullied on the playgrounds
Since I can remember.
Back then being gay was something
Entirely different then my mature mind now comprehends.
But even then I noticed it was
Something all mankind resents.

I guess deep down Ill always love
Women. What's not to love.
But turning a blind eye won't help
, love is blind anyway
Or so they say...
I geuss this means I must be gay.

But will I recieve blessing ...
Or scorn from up above??
Dear God , is this morose
Or is this also love??

Happiness is a barter
for which we happily pay,
a drug we get used to-
fatal to a point
to which I can truly not say.

What better way be there
than the circular sun of hope
that blares at the bottom of your whiskey bottle.
To which end will I reach tonight,
will I slumber , at least, an endless dream
or will I take flight, when as a feather
my feet become light.

Might I suggest, a bit of leaves
to smoke or chew,
or a bit of fairy dust,
to spoonfeed your inhibition
an burn you with lust.

What of a noose , that goes
so well with your eyes,
it comes at a cost, but
a very low price.
Why not slip it on
and swing to and thro
like swinging back to your youth?

Happiness is love, in
deaths sweet embrace
and it is found in only one place.
Someday we all sleep sound,
and finally smile at our hole in the ground.

Happiness is a barter,
for which we happily pay.
fatal to a point
where I can now say:

I am death and finally made
a short route to sweet loss of sorrow.
My name is death,
and happiness is my trade,
buy from me for a better tomorrow.

My feet touch scarcely the unknown soil
repetitively winding and unwinding
as would the prowling of a curious lion
to its new surrounding.

My hand cautiosly longs to touch
as the petals look so soft and warm
but fear the tear of crimson sorrow
for you are both the flower and the thorn.

A rose sits adamently , urging me
its sweet smell the very fabric of desire
can it be -that scent it carries
summons the Muse to come inspire.

Cherubs and godly beings alike
might bless the deadly sinful power
but ****** be I for being hasty
for you are the thorn as well as the flower

The rays of the full moon bleeds into my heart
and I smell you on the fabric of my clothes
and I shiver at the mere thought,
that you scare me to death

I let it go
I felt the pull of the ocean on your lips
I let it go
As thoughts dissolved in my mind

for the first time in years I felt alive
I remembered the confusions of love
the depression of fear and rejection
and the sting of tears in my eyes

three seconds of heaven
three seconds of quiet bliss
then you pulled away
and left me asking....

why

Was it wrong to ever...
Was it wrong to just...
Was it wrong to really fall
victim to sinful lust?

I see your face in every place
and yearn for what could be.
But hear you now,
you denote my pleads again?
Why not jump the edge...
for fear of loss?
Or fear you might find glory?

Why protest my bitter plea's
but scornfully brood on being but one...
Why not take a leap of faith
and explore the sounds
of sweet-sorrow pun.

My pen begs for paper
like I would reach for your hand,
to touch the white stretch of heaven
and feel suspended in what must be love.
Like ink my veins pump the fuel
that burns in my eyes and reflects in yours.

You hide behind sarcasm
and climb high into the branches of
your blooming wit, but
I see you blushing through your smile.
It rests upon the edge of paradise
and I want a taste of your bliss.

You make me want to believe
, that we could be pure if we try
and simultaneously throb for a devil's release
as I ache for your body, wrapped
around these hollow bones of mine.

Is it wrong to dream, when you tread my mind sore
in the golden hours of the day
you hang from my lashes,
and you turn to pitch black
and the moon and the stars-
you are the night that loves me
when you lull me to sleep
and the night that falls sudden
when the world turns me dry.

I write to create, to inspire...
I breath to live and love to breath...
But foremost I love living for your breath
that breathes fresh into these bones.
You inspire.
You create.
I love to live, but only-
for loving you.

I'm a little bit broken...
but still I live
with all the shards of my broken heart
I have learned to love

I've never seen the light of love
never tasted lips
that thought of me as human being

And when I remember last December
when Santa' s beard fell off
and he simply became my Dad
I think of you and how your eyes turned cold

When the Easter eggs lost their spark
and the hunt turned into tradition
I think of when your love was nothing more
than a piece of freezing gold

Like all my childhood beliefs,
you proved me wrong
and I was left between the shattered pieces
of rainbow glass
because you even tore down my
Saint Petersburg chapel...
and I am broken
and I am
broken

In nights most darkest hours
when all the worlds asleep
I leave my shadowed stage
and gently start to weep

I cleanse my soul with saline drops
to befoul it yet again
in front of atlas and his wait
the world and all its men

my mask grows painful
a burden in my chest
fake a life I never knew
removed, and I forget the rest

And sheltered in the alleyways
in the scourge of all man kind
there I felt your touch
as your hand slipped into mine

the prince of the sun
then span his golden wings
and took me from my misery
and all those other things

and now in midnight hours
I lay bundled in your arms
after you threw away my mask
and kissed away my qualms

and now I shine the brightest stars
and I play the play for you
you became my audience
the only bliss I knew

Howls and hisses fills the night
as darkness joins the joyful plight
enjoy the eve ;dont get a fright
for I smell fear... and I might just bite
Happy Halloween everybody

Some people never change...

Some people think they can beat love into you with a belt or a fist
Some think they can force it into you while drugging you or holding you down
Some think they can make you feel the love, by caging you in with rules
Some simply think love is an excuse to force another being into you

I see the world from behind bars
see the shadows dance across the fields
feel the tug and pull of strings
as they try to control my being

and all the time I hear these words... I love you
what do they mean
is this the warped image of love
that we never see on TV...
and if this is love,... if this is divine, and sent by God
then why does it cause so much pain and hurt... what is holy about any of it

I am done with hoping
I am done with trying
from now on I will just be

mother hear my words
my heart is beating in my chest
through only the power of love
you are denying me my love
and my friends
and my being
be carefull which powers of nature you try to control mother
because mother nature is a nasty one
she is just like me
she hates being controlled...

Sticks and stones might purge the sin
But can never douse the hell within.
A fire burning through the night
To blind the weak and dim the sight
Of all who see a golden dawn.
The morrows bring the cold and ice
As gods bet on lives and roll the dice.
How sad it makes this greying heart
To realize his only part
Was always just to be the pawn.
And as one does, I embrace their scorn.

Every Friday night I cry myself a river
As I lay and reassess my life
the weeks I work on end
the fears I have to face
The weight on my shoulders , bearing me down
and no way
no way
to relieve my pain

Mamma doesn't get it
she thinks you can shout at your heart
"Stop loving, Stop loving !!! JUST STOP!!"
but you can't ...
I can't do this anymore

Every day I walk past the pills and blades and potential nooses
every day I banish my dark thoughts, with promises of a better future
but there is just no such thing
I am not a kid anymore
I doubt I ever was
I'm just one of her dolls

wait till my heart stops beating
wait till the life is out of my eyes...
dear mom
maybe then you'll love me
maybe then
when my Friday night tears are frozen
on my porcelain cheeks
forever

I gavel a wooden grave
,For my infancy set my
Golden sun over the fields
Of repetitive sirens milling
In my head and tipping
Scales of a blinded saint.

Order , order be proclaimed
Innocence is to be adjourned
And sent to preliminary trials
where I constantly seem
To look up at minerals
Smiling at flashing lights
With a chain of mediocrity
Like a noose around my neck
Declaring the plausibilty
Of my golden thread!!

Every tick and tock
I break away to
Dabble in the dark arts
Of marketing humanity
And turning my eyes
Into shop windows
...-Display cases to sell
My soul to the masses.

Order! I strike down in an attempt
To order myself to order!!
Confess your sins upon the Lord!!
My hand burns strikingly
Into charcoal on the light
Word of a guiding shepard.

Order lies with honour, my
Leash prevents me from
Tassled pillows and applause
And eradicates the whispers
Of order in my infernal mind

Guilty as charged ,to life
With abscence of parole
And good it be
If searching for love
Naked cuffs be
Then maybe this life
Is not for me

Draw your verdict on
The tangy taste of my hide
As you pleasure yourself
At the sight of my downfall
Into an endless abbys of
Doing wrong things in
search of the monogamous
Right

Tonight
whilst the moon shine full and bright
inspiration hits
flows down on silver light

It dances in my thoughts
provokes my thinking
my reasoning becomes irrational
and it's all because of you

for weeks on end
the words were few
the illness of my mind
was still fresh like morning dew

but then
out of nowhere...
on the sound of your voice
my muse came waltzing
and it's all because of you

heart beats faster,
sorrows grow fainter
and I give in to the unconditional inspiration
called love

and I thank you now with words
with which abundance flows
with the emotions you bring forth
with time, it grows

thank thee my love
thanks for the cure to my disease
thank thee my love
as I write these words to please

I slept in death's rest
and succumbed to the touch of ecstasy
but even if your breath races in the coffin
you're still making love to the void.

I sold my soul to haste
and sweat and other sweetly salty smells
and now I feel the carrion
feast upon my tender life.

Now shattered is the photograph
; the mirror somewhat pale in deceit.
I gave the world to you
and all of my innocence too...

I deserve the banshee wails
and throatfulls of my blood ,
so kiss me my farewell
as the nightshade flowers bud.

My body subdues to the infatuation;
as a rising tide of heat enfolds over me,
and my heart beat chases the rolling stones
rolling down hill...
faster and faster...
down they go

Guided by my hormones
, like the barbarian I claim not to be
every last bit of sophistication
...of self control
burning
burning away to a mere pile
of ashes and dust
,where a once-great border
separated me  from common man

Irrational thought guide my hand
and cloud my allegedly strong
, but also human,
immunity to impulse...
impulse that is now
pulsing through my body
,burning in my veins
,disintegrating my morals

My hips move awkwardly
and frantically
as if caging in a raging animal
...
my toes curl in violent spasms
and my legs kick against the cold, tile wall
but the cold against my bare back
and the soles of my feet
only stimulate the tingling
sensation of electricity over my skin
...
Impure thoughts dance around in my head
twerking around the neurons
breaking down my sense of purity
like a wrecking ball set loose on a  church
...
This is what it feels like to live in the moment
to forget emotion and responsibility
, the sensual redemption of crude passion
to indulge the souls darkest desires!!
And even though the conscience
tugs and screams at the edges of your perception
you ignore the tiny voice
with the knowing that this is great
this is here
this is NOW
this is the guy that won't date me
or the girl that doesn't notice me
this is the relationship I desire so badly

OH GOD!!

my back arches high
forcing the breath out of me
in grunts and moans
THIS IS FEELING
and even though
"I might burn in Hell for this

well...
-at least I'll have fed the
screaming hunger inside"
, I think as I lay drenched in sweat

-BUT
I'd rather be burning
than frozen and desolate
like the sophisticated man I claim to be

Have you ever looked at the clock
Tick , ticking away
Wishing it would stop
Before the moment slips away

Have you ever looked at the sky
High , high up above
Wishing for comfort
No! -wishing for love...

Have you ever lost your way
Deep , deep inside
those brown, sparkling eyes
In which you confide

Have you ever said "freind"
With so, much dismay
Hoping to be more
But too afraid to say...

"Have you ever taken chances
Well, well take one on me
Love, you hold my heart
Now please set me free
Your yes is all I need
Your yes... is the key"

Have you ever...
See, I have never...
And I geuss that's
Why my lonely
Will last forever...

Tonight when the moon bleeds
out the sky in it's
pre-montly cycle
Me and my love will be
dancing in ditches and
Play hopscotch on yesterday
And all the landmines it left
For us to trip over...

And when we grow weary from
Pecking out shrapnel
From our tattered bodies...
Me and my love will wallow
In the pain of inflicted sins.

There is no rest for a troubled soul
But we will rest our heads on
The doubled-over bodies
ad they slowly blow away
To dust in the wind.

That is the fate-
Of me and my love

I want love
I need you
I desire your love
There's no need for me
Without a chance of you
I need ...

We cut our wrists
With our shattered dreams
And **** ourselves
With the jagged edges
Of a broken society