Optimistically, I'd see pain as strength
I'd use it in a context :
that I could get through whatever else life throws at me
because I believe that I've already been through the worst.

Through time, other kinds of pains introduced themselves through the years
each one was uniquely different, and each one felt devil sent
tapping different kinds of fear, to the point where I've felt so much
and didn't even shed a tear
....anymore.

Dealing with pain to me, is a choice
a choice where you stop seeing it as strife but a drive
a drive to not get lost within, but to take it in
I wouldn't say let it go, because it isn't always as easy as people show

so my only advice for people who strive
is to choose to see it as a drive
in a different context, get in the car and DRIVE!

ride your pain
and survive
for pain,
will always be a part of life.

I thought love was when you made me hot tea in the morning because I was sick

I thought love was how you stocked up on tissues because you found out I had allergic rhinitis

I thought love was when you hugged me in your sleep, without knowing that I was awake and silently crying

I thought love was your commitment to waiting for me, being patient with me knowing that I was not in an easy state

I thought love was the way you dealt with my intoxicated breakdowns

Man, the list could go on because I honestly thought maybe love was all the things you did that I wasn't used to because you made me feel that for once, the stars finally aligned in my favor

but you were just in a phase of infatuation while I was in a phase of breaking down walls, learning to accept the "love" I was never used to.

Real love, my dear is how I am hurting;
is knowing I deserve better
but still wishing you were the better that I deserved.

I miss you
I should stop
but real love doesn't just go away so quickly
which is why I'm left to wonder
why you're so okay with losing me

I guess that just means you never loved me.

steady, though I’m still haunted by the memories
your love was like ecstasy

now it’s crashing down
I’m a fool, might as well dress like a clown
cause I fell hard for your lies
I’m left to deal with the side effects of that temporary high

What else could I do?

Every night I vocalize my troubles to the heavens, to the One that I know will always listen

these recurring problems never seem to end
taking in all the pain of the words you never fully thought of before hitting send

I grew accustomed to a life where the bad outweighs the good
yet I continue to be patient... I continue to be misunderstood.

leave the details to those that are true
instead of wasting your time and energy
on those who have no intentions to pursue

a universe within her soul
and alone she is whole
some embark on a mission, take a rocketship to fly towards her heart
but instead they shoot for the stars, get lost in the process.....and depart