I went from a top ten student with A's all around
To a barely B-  GPA.
I go to school with sadness and a frown
Every single Gold Day.
I hate the fact that I took your class,
A mistake I'll never forget.
It's college prep sophomore biology,  
Not your ******* dictatorship.

How **** rough can society get?
I know a beautiful girl who takes a blade to her wrist,
She’s 105 pounds, and thinks her stomach is fat,
Exactly what can make her think that?
Hunger pains linger every time she goes to sleep,
Because at night, bulimia is telling her “don’t eat!”
But that’s fine, right? I mean, models do it too,
And everybody wants to look like they do, true?
I don’t think so, trying to explain it is useless,
This fella thinks model behavior is hella stupid,
It really bothers me that people listen to the media,
People, need to stop eating what they’re feeding ya’,
You don’t need your ribs sticking out to be attractive,
And preteen girls don’t need to be sexually active,
I’m so done, sitting here, hoping we can turn the page,
Call me John Mayer,  because I’m waiting on the world to change.

I let the beat come in so can I commit a sin again,
With my friends, asking does this madness really ever end?
It’s cyclical, repetitive and cynical,
I’m a loser lost in the place where winners go,
Like a maze, without an exit in sight,
These type of thoughts keep me awake every night,
I can’t get an ounce of sleep, so I get a gram of dro,
And that keeps me problem free for an hour or so,
I know it’s wrong, sort of physiological dependency,
I struggle, feeling like the weight of the world’s been set on me,
I’m disassociated until I get a beat to slay, because
Writing helps me find just right where my place is,
If not, I get wasted, a drunk punk, faceless,
I know I’ve got a problem, but i’m too scared to face it..

A bad relationship is a lot like burning your tongue.
Food is delicious, and it's best when it's hot, of course.
You dive on in and devour it.
It only hurts a little bit, and it stills tastes good.
The next morning, with a blistered tongue, you just ask yourself;
"Ouch....was it really worth it?"

Lately I’ve been having thoughts that left me long ago,
A once forgotten process, is back and ready to go, you know,
I hate my lack of happiness, I feel conflicted,
My self pity makes me sick, I call it sick addiction,
What exactly gives me the right to say I’m sad?
When so many people have never had it as good as I have,
I mean, I’m not mad, But i’m not glad, I’m basically existing,
Caught up in the middle, insisting I need assisting,
And wishing I wasn’t missing, the secret key to joy,
I’m the 6’3 frame of a man, but inside, i’m just a boy,

Where can you even summon the audacity
To tell me that lately you have been mad at me
For building up a little bit of self worth in my head
Am I wrong for no longer wishing I was dead?
"I miss the way you used to act,  
So nice, I want the old you back"
The old me? That self hating *******?
Who only was happy on his ***, ****** or plastered?
You don't know what it's like, you **** fool
You've never been afraid of the judgement at school
You've never been called ******, ******, or four eyes
You've never thought of a compliment as more lies
You have no idea how the **** I felt
I beat myself, left bruises, welts
It was middle school, when I found out new ways
Of popping pills in class to get through the days
Well I guess now, sure, i'm popular enough
But I still have that sickening feeling in my guts
The reminder, I was that fat kid that everyone bullied,
Don't ever judge me, you don't ******* know me.

What I wouldn't give to go back to the time,
When all I wanted was to be the leader of the line,
When none of my friends tried to pressure me into crime,
When my lyrics didn't even have to rhyme,
Well now guess what, we're all grown up,
Realities checks and balances tend to make me say ****,
A word that before I barely even knew the meaning,
Now has become something you might hear me screaming,
Please, let me go back to when we only drank juice,
When "smoking a fatty" was outrunning a fat dude,
When a gun was just a tool in a video game,
When you only paper-cut, it wasn't to relieve pain,
When nobody got killed over being called gay,
Man, I wanna teleport back to Pre-K..

She wishes for different colored eyes,
"Blue's just overrated"
She wishes for thinner thighs,
Her legs leave her aggravated,

"My stomach is so gigantic"
She says while halfway frowning,
"My ****'s just too titanic"
In low self esteem she's drowning,

Compliments a'plenty,
I try to prove her wrong,
I love her more than any-
thing, that's why I wrote this song,

I say you're beautiful,
Everyday I make sure to,
But your mirror and your mind,
They're playing tricks on you,

You're so **** perfect,
Yet you live life without
Thinking you're worth it,
I admit, it freaks me out

When your insecurities,
Keep bad thoughts afloat,
But the cure to me,
Might be in this song I wrote

I say it's gonna be okay,
Everyday I make sure to,
But your mirror and your mind
Are playing tricks on you.

At Sandy Hook,
A man, he took,
A loaded gun into a building of little kids,
And showed a whole country what tragedy really is,
28 families with an emptiness inside,
A gunman, reckless, never tempted to hide,
Christmas stockings, they hang unfilled,
For the children who at the hands of that man, were killed,
Now, I don't think the answer is to ban
Assault weapons, when they weren't even used by the man,
But what's the plan? Take all the guns away?
Hypocritical government has got nothing to say.
I'm sure politicians with their wicked twisted ways
Do not mind the guns that protect them everyday.
Or the soldiers overseas protecting freedom with an M16,
So what's it mean? I guess one summary to me,
Gun laws aren't the problem, the issue is bigger,
It's not the Guns who ****, it's the one's who pull the trigger..

(more lyrics than poetry, but whatever)
It scares me so much, the words that she writes,
The pills that she takes, to go to sleep every night,
The things that she says, how she argues and fights,
I just want everything to end up alright,
I’m not gonna say I can’t deal, I try and I will,
I’d fight and i’d ****, and if the beans are being spilled,
I love her so much, and my love’s the brashest, the boldest,  
I hope how much I care is never going unnoticed,
Let it be noted, my feelings are the truest I could ever express,
And I’m thankful everyday she choose me over the rest,
But I just feel useless, unhelpful and stupid,
I know how her pain feels, I swear i’ve been through it,
If I could erase it, I promise I’d do it,
If I could take it, I’d move it, i’d break it,
So next time she smiles, she wont have to fake it

Sometimes, I really cannot comprehend
Why english teachers require, again and again,
Their students to look for these deep hidden meaning,
"The sun was yellow." "The author meant it was gleaming,
Like the life of spot the dog, bright and happy,"
Save your teaching Miss, it's ******.
I know it's a difficult concept...well, no.
The color of the sun is just ******* yellow.

She wasn't pretty.
She wasn't hot.
She wasn't ****.
She wasn't cute.
She was beautiful.
She was breathtaking in a way only comparable to
A beautiful, unique snowflake.
Or the way the ice freezes in beautiful patterns on a bus window.
She was stunningly, gorgeously, heart-stopping-ly ******* beautiful,
And I loved that girl.

Your eyes are like the ocean,
Vast, and pretty blue,
My eyes have one intention,
They’re only set on you,
I love you more than anything,
I know you feel the same,
The most beautiful girl in the world,
And she’s driving me insane,
I can’t even focus,
Can’t conjure up a phrase,
I could go on and on,
And talk of you for days,
Absolute perfection,
And every bit of my,
Love is summed up in four letters,
J-o-d-i

You may think your imperfections tend to hold you back,
But I see pure perfection in the things you think you lack,
You’re the most beautiful thing this world has ever seen,
And every little compliment, I promise you, I mean,
You might think your hair’s a mess, Or that your teeth don’t shine,
But I think that you’re lovely, and I’m proud to call you mine.

A failure, that’s all I really am when you look at me,
A useless pill popper, who’s self loathing hooks him, you see,
It’s a complex, I’m aware i’m worthless,
I’m standing at the edge, swaying, wordless,
Side to side, to and fro, left to right,
I’ll take the jump, quietly rid the world of me tonight,
I need a vacation, from the **** in my life,
Before I get to slicing up my wrist with this knife,
Saying goodbye, to everyone I thought gave a ****,
I wanted someone to care, but I think i’m **** out of luck.

(Rap, not poem. sorry I cheat)
I can’t, I wont, let anyone get used to me,
I’m just the empty shell of the person that I used to be,
I say I’d never change for one girl,
But I’d change for anyone who claims to be my world,
Because I’ll do whatever it takes for some attention,
Be it getting demerits, detentions or suspensions,
I’m sick of this, everyday same old boring ****,
I’ll ***** my lyrical ability to anyone who’ll pay for it,
To anyone who’ll stay for it, even half the duration,
No one really likes it, yet still i’m patiently waiting,
It’s to the point where I might say, hope is getting useless,
No record label, no future,
So stupid is the kid who thinks he’s got a chance,
To DJ anything bigger than a Junior High Dance,
(Chorus, spoken fast, x4)
I’m told to be appreciating
What I have, what I’m not
Instead of wanting, wasting time
On what I haven't got,

High school was supposed to be about spin the bottle,
Not getting the spins.

Cutting ties with old friends became cutting yourself.

Skipping class became skipping breakfast...and then lunch...and then dinner.

Pep rallies should've been called Pill Rallies, because that's all I ever saw.

Unexcused absence is called an U.A. Enough U.A's and you have to watch some P.S.A's. P.S.A's lead to T.H.C. T.H.C. leads to L.S.D. L.S.D -> O.U.I.

O.U.I. C.P.R. D.O.A...

R.I.P.

Growing up on movies and shows depicting high school as a safe, secure, friendly establishment of education had established the foundation and tarnished it's reputation.

The final stretch, as graduation nears, I need to face graduating fears, but i'm gradually building up tears;

I don't wanna leave. I don't want to face the hellish world without the kids I grew up with, the kids I ****** up with.

But I can't stay here. I can't face the hellish school with those ******* I grew up around, the ones who ****** me up now.

When asked about my future, I respond in true high school fashion;

"***, idk, lol"

Flowers rise in May of each year,
The colors so vibrant and new,
Exquisite ways to say Spring is here,
But none of the flowers are as pretty as you.

My head moves up and down with your chest,
Every breathe you take, eases me to rest,
You comfort me, when nothing else in the world could,
You treat me in a way I thought no one ever would,
I can ***** something up 99 times in a row,
But you’ll be there for try 100, that I always know.