I was sky watching
I was smaller than the corn
Leave the curtains open
I’m not too tired
I’m not ready for bed
I’m sky watching
Until I’m taller than the corn

A puppet for your release

The first conscious breath of morning
A tiny sweet yawn to welcome the day
A long stretch under the sheets to feel my bones that already ache for you

Many hours to be filled before you arrive yourself to me
I lie still and the beauty of your not-so-handsome face appears in my heart
I adore you and your rough behaviour
Your heart cares nothing for mine
Yet mine wants to wrap yours up and show it that I am worth more

That look you send to my core when all you see me as
is a vessel
The desperate want you have to fill me up
I wonder if you close your eyes and think of her
Then I wonder not
You wouldn’t have been so rough
So dismissive of her
You loved her

Yet still
The excitement begins to creep from my heart and crawls down between my thighs
My yearning for you comes from a part of me of which I do not understand
You are all that is wrong
You leave me feeling incomplete
When all I yearn for is completion

My day will fill with any distraction
Deep breaths to prevent my pounding heart
Deep meditation to try and
Understand why I let myself
Be used
One text and you’ve cancelled
Just a puppet for your release

Addicted

If I’m not addicted to Facebook
I’m addicted to a poetry site

If I’m not addicted to alcohol
I’m addicted to any azipam

If I’m not addicted to tattoos
I’m addicted to ***

If I’m not addicted to the sky
I’m addicted to reading

If I’m not addicted to shopping
I’m addicted to tinder

If I’m not addicted to exercise
I’m addicted to food

If I’m not addicted to staying thin
I’m addicted to cutting my hair

If I’m not addicted to AC/DC
I’m addicted to Leonard Cohen

If I’m not addicted to writing
I’m addicted to procrastinating

If I’m not addicted to the beach
I’m addicted to my bed

If I’m not addicted to you
I’m addicted to someone else

If I’m not addicted to something
Then I’m not happy being un-addicted....

In the words of a song I love dearly...
addicted
“I’ve never met a ****** that I didn’t like”

Many of us are addicts.... it’s how we survive ❤️

mother
what gave you the right to bring these bald faced women to my christening?
harpies are a habit
and not a great one at that
even with the mad girl calling my name
pulling off the sticky pearls as i sink further down into the floorboard
underneath curtains
i gave it a blue hat
you know, the one with the parrot and no eyelids?
black shrouded with stars imploding and retreating to the beat of your heart in utero
baby's breath fogs my eyes
and you run your hands over your swollen womb and pretend not to think you are Mary
placing a wafer and rosary underneath your tongue
whilst the body of eventual ashes and milk from your breast
gums and trust on your areola
unabashedly plays John
and kicks your kidney at the sound of the first hymn

You instigate the rattlesnake
the storm within, under the bones

You feed on my fears then
under the rain your mouth you open
your thirst you quench

You smile when I cry. think about that
the guilt you hug away
in the pieces of my broken spirit, you search for her

I am not her
I am not her

Keep your scars at bay
it's time to love & headway

The world is colder when you’re not there...