Hear the beating of a heart.
Hear it stutter? Hear it start?
Watch it as it falls apart.  
Taste a flavor far too sharp.
Touch the pieces of my heart.
While it's still beating....
With darkness retreating....
Then, maybe...
         the bleeding...
                       will stop?

a blanket that covers earth’s imperfections
fills the winter daze with blissful silence
my thoughts begin to scream
finally hearing them in the still quietness
becoming numb to the surrounding world

Where did I come from
When did I learn
How to be
And not be
Myself

You called it self care
But you didn't know
I was sacrificing
My peace
For pleasure

They say that it's too
Expensive
Losing peace
But I can't seem to
Let go
Of this beautiful suffering
And magnificent
Betrayal

I am two
Shades of grey
A storm
Looming over myself
Longing for sunshine
But dancing in the rain

You called it self care
Truth
But you didn't know
I'd been
Swimming in a puddle
Of lies

Pale faced
I spoke the words
That would
Cut

I watched you collapse
Into yourself
Watched your world
Crumble
And I
I felt
A world
Expand

I didn’t know how much I cared
On behalf of you
Looking into your darkness
Wanting to take it away
I see now that I helped
Lead you there
Into your destruction

You are faced with terror now
And I am faced with the joy
and sorrow
Of a chain
Unlinked

There’s a numbness
An aloneness
A shock
A confusion
A fear
All hovering around my body
At once protecting me
and preventing me
from knowing how to move
Beyond each
Next
Step

You believe this is betrayal
Abandonment
I believe this is the greatest act
Of love

Freedom