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Feb 2015 · 601
WORLDS LAST CRUEL JOKE
Paula Lee Feb 2015
Where once we thought we owned the world and forever was our playground,
Tomorrow, The light of our two souls merging into one...

WE WERE WRONG!!!

You have gone, My heart has lost your echo
Death the thief,
That stole this Poets' words
Silence once again reigns in my world...
The heavens cry out for me,
For the loss of you left me mute...

Memories fade, As the stars lose their twinkle,
One by one they fade into the dark,
The dark that binds tear-stained eyes
Takes away all life colors.

Struck dumb and blind, I'm left to travel, on lifes' road alone
The worlds last cruel joke,
To leave me alone and loveless...

But Revenge will be sweet as I stumble
Too my last horizon,
God will be there....
To open my eyes, and I
Can once again stare into yours
and
Know that I am finally home,
My voice returned,
To tell you

Through all these years...
I Never once stopped Loving You!!!
Jan 2015 · 2.0k
MY JOURNEY
Paula Lee Jan 2015
If I'd known the Journey
Would have been this long.
I never would have started
For I'm not that strong

You put mountains before me
Around every single turn,
I've crawled till I was weary
And every muscle burned

I walked with feet bloodied
On a path never true,
Never knowing which the way
To bring me back to you

I walked in rain so blinding
The sun never shone
Darkness my companion
Never felt so alone

Finally dawned the day
The horizen in sight,
After years of struggle
I could lay down the fight

The road was never meant to be
A way back to your heart,
I was meant to be alone
Right from the very start

Now I lay down this life
Strength finally found.
Enough to dig this grave for me
In Gods' forsaken ground
God Have Mercy On My Soul
Jan 2015 · 394
TAKE CARE
Paula Lee Jan 2015
Take care with her heart
tis such a fragile thing,
tend it like a garden started
then heart-roots will cling

If you love her, tell her
don't guess that she knows,
a heart once darkened
will need your light to grow

Tend her with a gentle hand
you might just be amazed,
what started out as a seedling
has grown to *Love Always
Jan 2015 · 1.6k
Walking The Road Alone
Paula Lee Jan 2015
There was a time my mind and heart
had its freedom
to wander aimlessly through the days
but then I started walking the road of life,

up and down mountains, hills, and valleys,
stumbled and fell more times than I can count,
hit more dead ends and had to start over

I always walked the road alone!

I came across the ocean,
there my feelings built on sand castles as
the tide comes in, they disappear
one grain at a time til nothings left
the waves crashing all my defenses.
Rushing out of safe harbors...

My life is gone,washed away on
seas of regret,
what lies ahead when it all lies behind
but the memories?

Will I have the strength left to wipe the tears
from my eyes,
as I come to the end of the road?

The road I've walked alone!
Jan 2015 · 3.9k
You Know Who's Awesome?
Paula Lee Jan 2015
POETIC T
He's an Amazing writer who not enough people appreciate
He's an Amzing Friend with a Great sense of humor
I could go on and on but most of all he hasn't given up on me when others have and that says alot about his character to me.
You really don't know what you're missing!!!
Nov 2014 · 588
NOVEMERS CALLING ME
Paula Lee Nov 2014
I hear November calling
as it does every year,
the chill that's in the air
cold enough to freeze my tears,

I hear the lonesome call
whistling through the wind
swirling pain all around me
embracing me once again

I hear November calling
as it wraps me in despair
reminding me of all we've lost
another year without you there

I hear in the distance
the old church bell toll
once agian i'm here
to pray for your soul

The cold, dank earth beneath my feet
my hand upon your marble stone
memories besiege my heart
as I stand here again all alone

November calls and I come running!
Just missing my soulmate who died November 12, 1984
Rest In Peace Randy
Nov 2014 · 622
My Redeemer
Paula Lee Nov 2014
Oh my redeemer
Lord of all surveyed,
walk with me this morning
all your beauty displayed

Washed in your blood
now my eyes do see,
all I'd since forgotten
you always walk with me

and when this day is over
and twilight fades away,
I'll lift mine eyes to Heaven
in Christ I will pray

Oh Lord my redeemer
forgive my sins this eve,
know that I am faithful
and that I believe

Thank You Lord for bounties
I'd long forgotten them,
Thank You for Salvation
and the joy to walk with him

When my day is over
and my portion met,
let me see Heavens' beauty
a sight I can't forget

Thanks to all your glory
my sins you cast away,
Thank You my redeemer
In Jesus' name I pray!
Amen.
This is a re-write!
Nov 2014 · 287
Untitled
Paula Lee Nov 2014
I guess I'm just a Throw- away friend!
Thanks for the great memories.........
Oct 2014 · 497
BECAUSE HE'S THERE
Paula Lee Oct 2014
She just sits there
still as a statue,
Silence fills the room
her memories run to you;

Gnarled hands in her lap
eyes filled with such pain,
Her minds retreated
She's with him again;

It happens more often now
as her eyes grow dim,
You might catch a smile
She's back dancing with him;

He's been her only love
these last 60 years,
She can't live without him
you know by her tears;

And the look on her face
says it all today,
she's biding her time
Til he comes to take her away;

Every day she's getting closer
Everyday one more prayer,
Heaven's her destination
Because her Heart is there!
Someday Love!!!
Oct 2014 · 19.4k
GONE TOO SOON
Paula Lee Oct 2014
I know you were smiling down from Heaven
as  we had your Memorial Service Yesterday,
I know you were watching as we gathered in your name
Each of us sharing our favorite memories we had of you.
There wasn't a dry eye to be found
as we each mourned the loss of you in our own way.

GONE FROM OUR LIVES TO SOON

I will remember you in the rising sun and its going down,
I will remeber you with each snowflake that gently
swirls to the ground,
And I will remember you, your soft spoken voice
The most beautiful sound.

GONE FROM OUR LIVES TOO SOON

No one can ever steal the beauty of you,
the love you brought to our lives,
Your Spirit Soars today with the Angels
but the memories will always survive,
My blood and yours forever intwined.

*GONE FROM OUR LIVES TOO SOON
Sep 2014 · 399
THE ROAD
Paula Lee Sep 2014
I've traveled down this path before
i just can't do it anymore,
I get to the end of the road
and waiting there is another load,
the load is heavy, the road steep
how can my sanity keep?

All alone and years of pain,
there's nothing more in life to gain.
The best has come, now it's gone,
I'll never veiw another dawn.
I lay my head down, take my rest,
my arms crossed upon my breast.

Cruel world I say to the Farewell!
Time for me to return to hell.

BANG!
3am depression and no one to talk too!
Sep 2014 · 377
LOVE
Paula Lee Sep 2014
LOVE

Deposit  1$

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OUT OF ORDER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHEAPSKATE*

( You Get What You Pay For ! )
Sep 2014 · 431
YOUR LETTER 10w
Paula Lee Sep 2014
I WROTE TO YOU LOVE;

DOES HEAVEN HAVE A MAILBOX?
Sep 2014 · 445
LET ME...
Paula Lee Sep 2014
Let me lay my head
upon your shoulder

Lend me your strength
for awhile,

Let me lay down this burden
in exchange for your Smile,

Hold me in your loving arms
your kiss upon my brow,

I need you so much baby
Never more so than now,

In your strength I find promise
that things will be alright,

But tonight, I am weary
I lay down the fight

So I lay my head
upon your shoulder

Knowing I'll be safe
til mornings light!
Sep 2014 · 291
GOODBYE
Paula Lee Sep 2014
The
words
are
GONE

My
heart
is
EMPTY

And
GOODBYE
is
just
a
Word!
Sep 2014 · 1.4k
MY REDEEMER
Paula Lee Sep 2014
Oh Lord my Redeemer
Lord of all surveyed,
Walk with me this morning
in all beauty displayed;

Washed in your blood
now my eyes do see
all i'd since forgotten
that you always walked with me;

and when this day is over
and the twilight fades a way,
I'll lift mine eyes to heaven
In Christ I will pray;

Oh Lord my Redeemer
forgive my sins this eve,
know that I am faithful
know that I believe;

Thank you Lord for bounties
I'd long forgotten them,
I Thank You for Salvation
and the Joy to walk with him;

When my day is over
and my portion met,
Let me see heavens' beauty
A sight I won't forget;

Thanks to all your glory
My sins you've cast away,
Thank You my Redeemer
In Christs name I Pray!
Amen
A start of a new day for me I hope!
Sep 2014 · 1.2k
TIME HEALS SOME
Paula Lee Sep 2014
Mourning is like a puzzle
outlined dot to dot
.------.
Time heals some
others not,

It's but another Journey
life throws our way,
We all must walk it
come what may,

Some will heal to sunshine
Some drown in the rain,
For some Mourning claims
the prize of pain,

Belief in God, helps a few
while others live in doubt,
For some the Journey ends
as it's figured out,

Like me the lines get blurred
the path not always clear,
but praying that God
is somewhere near,

Mourning is like a puzzle
outlined dot to dot,
.--------.
Time heals some,
Others not.
Aug 2014 · 442
MISTAKE
Paula Lee Aug 2014
A long time ago
you gave me a choice,
Lying on my deathbed
Stay or follow your voice;
Dear Lord, Forgive me, I made a Mistake

I could have walked
that Golden staircase,
passed Heavenly Gates
to take my rightful place;
Dear Lord, Forgive me, I Made a Mistake

Now I must wait
Heart open to pain,
Until that rightful place
Is mine once again

*Dear Lord, Forgive Me, I Made a Mistake
Aug 2014 · 316
ALL ?
Paula Lee Aug 2014
I Gave My

ALL

To Be Your

EVERYTHING

Now

*I'M NOTHING
Aug 2014 · 298
Can't 10w
Paula Lee Aug 2014
Can't Think, Feel, or Write

Grief has Struck me Dumb!
Aug 2014 · 419
FREEDOM 10w
Paula Lee Aug 2014
I
Lived,
I
Suffered
I
Died

I Am FREE!
I'm not in the challenge but this is my take on Freedom!
Aug 2014 · 838
FOR YOUR MERCIFUL GOD
Paula Lee Aug 2014
You took two stars,
that burned so bright
and crushed them in your hands,
and though you won't miss just two,
to me you left a huge hole
that I can't even begin
to understand.

If this has been some kind of test
then I know I have failed,
How far down can you send me
when I'm already in Hell?

And God I'm asking point blank,
What is this divine plan you have devised?
that you can take so much from me
in so little amount of time.

This lone sparrow has fallen
and I've hit the hard ground,
Where was your hand then Lord?
your love and mercy,
I have not found.

How can I be thankful
for the little things you give,
When you take the big things from me?
You have left me blind and broken,
You took my beautiful stars,
left me unable to see.

I gave my all to you, my everything
Now, there's nothing left at all
You Lost one of your sparrows
When You Let Me Fall!
Losing my mom and then my neice today is to much!
Aug 2014 · 476
Untitled
Paula Lee Aug 2014
I only have one question
******* YOU WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
She  Just Died
Aug 2014 · 556
A REQUEST 10w
Paula Lee Aug 2014
If you need another Angel from my family....
                           Take ME!
Friends Please say a Prayer for my neice who is fighting for her life right now, I can honestly say that I can't understand why god would take my neice  while i'm still grieving for my mom?
Aug 2014 · 330
IT HURTS
Paula Lee Aug 2014
It hurts
To see you walk away
for admit it or not,
you were an important part of my life;
And the time we shared
will forever be a part of me,
So even though I realize
it was never meant to be
Still
It hurts

And so it is
that now I've learned
It's possible to laugh
with a lump in my throat,
and tears can be hidden,
If I really try!
Aug 2014 · 355
IF YOU
Paula Lee Aug 2014
You might have loved me
If you had known me,
If you had ever known my mind,
If you would have walked
through my Dreams and Memories,
Who knows what Treasures
you might have found.

Yes, you might have loved me
If you had known me.
If you had only
Taken the time.
Aug 2014 · 1.1k
COCOON
Paula Lee Aug 2014
She chases the darkness,
Nothing, but darkness and her,
She sits there,
Darkness a blanket she can wear,
And she listens to the nothingness
that only the darkness allows;

And if she was still aware,
I'm sure she would get down on her knees
and Thank the darkness for the
Silence,
The Blessed Silence
that cocoons her now;

and when daylight comes,
she runs and hides,
hiding from the light that burns,
hiding from the pain and hiding
from the voices, the voices to loud,
and she waits for the sunset,
Eager to be spared.
then she's running again,
into the darkness,
back to the Nothingness
that the darkness allows.*

And if she was still aware,
I'm sure she would get down on her knees,
and Thank the darkness
for the Silence,
The Blessed silence
that cocoons her now.
Aug 2014 · 446
3 MONTHS
Paula Lee Aug 2014
It's been 3 months ago, today
that I had to say goodbye,
Didn't think there were any tears left
but I was wrong, and here I cry;

You're in a  better place I know
and now your pain is gone,
For that I'm eternally gratefull
But How Do I Go On!

Empty words are still spoken
I find no comfort there,
and everyday i'm still looking
across to that empty chair;

O what I wouldn't give to have
that empty chair filled again,
To see that smiling face of yours
Just to remember when...

They sent a letter telling me
How I would probably feel today,
but all i know in my heart
there was so much left to say;

I want to know your light
is shining down on me,
That in my grief stricken state
even up there, you're still here with me!


Oh what I wouldn't give to have
that empty chair  filled again!
Missing you so much, Rest In Peace Mom!
Aug 2014 · 865
WHY I LOVE YOU! Paula & Sye
Paula Lee Aug 2014
I love you for your courage
your wisdom speaks to me,
they give to me the inner strength
I need when I am weak;

I love you for who you are
how you give your heart to me,
filling me with all your love
finally setting me free;


Love makes toes trip lightly
as we dance our way along,
Two in love find happiness
then soar on wings of song:

Kissing me softly
as we finish our dance,
Entangled in each others embrace
we share one final glance;


And we need no words to ever say
the thoughts we share alone,
Our little smiles, our little sighs
Speak volums of their own.
Thank You Sye for writing with me!!!
Aug 2014 · 801
How 10w
Paula Lee Aug 2014
How will I get to Heaven
            I'm afraid of heights!
I really am afraid of heights!
Aug 2014 · 438
LETTING GO
Paula Lee Aug 2014
With every fiber of my being
I'm trying to let go of you,
You were never going to be mine
so cutting my heart out, is what I'll do;

Letting you go, letting you fade away
with the Beautiful sunset,
Letting my love go that's been there
since the day we met;

Letting go of the dream
I had of you in my mind,
Letting go of the heartache
felt for a long, long time;

Letting go now...to become a Star
The brightest then,
when you look up at the stars tonight
I hope you wonder, What could have been!

And I'll be shining down on you
for Eternity,
Wondering how I ever thought
That I could ever
Let you go!
Aug 2014 · 1.0k
LAY ME DOWN AND LOVE ME
Paula Lee Aug 2014
Lay me down and love me
I'll make you forget her for the night,
Forget just for this evening
Lay me down and hold me tight.

Don't you know I want to girl
but I can't turn off my heart'
not even for an evening girl
it would end before we even start.

Lay me down and love me anyway
I've waited Oh so long for you!
I'll make you forget her, I know I can
Lay me down and love me, I NEED you too.

Don't you know I want to girl
but It just wouldn't be fair,
Not even for an evening girl
"She" would still be there!

Please Lay me down and Love me anyway!
This was not a collaboration!
Jul 2014 · 509
Here I Stand!
Paula Lee Jul 2014
You were Always, Just a Dream!

Mind and Heart, Intertwined,
a heart who would not listen,

SO HERE I STAND

Heart wide open,
Loving You!
Feeling the Rejection...

AND NOW HERE I LIE

On a bed of Ashen Feathers,
your penned words Tattoo'd
across my heart,

AND HERE I DIE

On bended knees
and Agony,
Drowning,  In The Ink,
that was penned for her by Thee!
Jul 2014 · 310
You Say
Paula Lee Jul 2014
You said you're My Friend,
Would You have my back?
Jul 2014 · 802
Not Okay!
Paula Lee Jul 2014
I just found out, the 'GOVERNMENT"Has given every Pharmacy in all the USA a "Quota", they get a certain amount of Painpills at the begining of the Month and that has to be enough til the Next month;  A "Quota"

Seriously!!!
Well its the end of the month,

My Pharmacist said she could'nt even borrow from another Pharmacy because they didn't have any either,
HOW Many are out here hurting?
Her advice was to have my Doctor call them in at the begining of each month, she was also mad that she still had to give out painspills to first come, first serve, that she still had to give out painpills to someone she knew was abusing them and then had to deny a cancer patient.
This does Not Solve the problem you idiots!
and causes undo Pain unto  the honest, hard working, the hurting ones.
End of the month, there are no more to give out.
So here we sit in pain so bad you want to scream!
I'm a Law abiding Citizen, pay taxes and here i sit hurting
How Much Are we going to take from the "GOVERNMENT"
True Story!
Jul 2014 · 873
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (*SYE*)
Paula Lee Jul 2014
Today, you turn 17
Guess what that means?
I get to razz you all day long,
Singing Happy Birthday songs.

Balloons released to the sky,
Just for you, my dearest Sye,
Birthday cheer, Well wishes to,
And all my Love, I send to you.

You will always be my little girl,
Grown up now, to face the world.
Happy Birthday! Daughter dear,
As you celebrate another year!

And as you blow those candles out,
Know that without a doubt,
A Mothers' Love is always there,
We've wrapped your heart with loving care.

Pretty pink and silver bows,
For the Most, Loving Soul,
I wish for you, my dearest Friend,
Angel Kisses, Heaven sent!

May your day be truly blessed,
And Joy abounds in your Heart
Today and Always!
Happy Birthday Day! Daughter,
Love,
Mummy
Jul 2014 · 715
The Lonely Kitty
Paula Lee Jul 2014
Just a lonely kitten who goes out at night,
and she sits, looking up at the vast sky,
and she's wondering why the sparrows
Can't come down and play with her, oh why!

"CAUSE WE ARE ANGELS"

She just sits there patiently and in awe,
watching her Sweet sparrows dance afar,
their Golden Wings a'shimmer off the stars,
Still not knowing her sparrows are.....

*IN DISGUISE!
Jul 2014 · 488
InkBlots
Paula Lee Jul 2014
First thing this morning
I broke my pen,
Spilled my ink all over my pretty white paper,
left with nothing but inkblots,
maybe the Mental Health people can use them?
Ignore this one!
Jul 2014 · 9.3k
Dear God
Paula Lee Jul 2014
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
Call this assurance if you must;
But when it's time to say Farewell
To one you love, it's just plain hell.

There are no words, no healing balm,
To fill the void, to ease the calm;
And not a thing that one can say
Will drive the quick hot tears away.

We look upon the empty chair
And seek the one no longer there;
And so heartbreaking is the pain
We question if we'll meet again.

How grim indeed, if death should be
The Bitter End--- Eternity;
Just some vague dream conceived by Man
And not a part of any plan.

But God has taken such great care
To note the sparrow in the air;
His Love alone can cover all
And Mark a simple Sparrows' fall.

And if he cares for the birds that fly,
then he must hear My Anguished cry;
"Dear God, I yield my grief to Thee
For Thou alone can comfort me."
To Everyone who is struggling with Grief
Jul 2014 · 578
Hey
Paula Lee Jul 2014
Hey
It's not the Lack of Love, that hurts right now,

It is your ANGER!
Jul 2014 · 402
Thoughts
Paula Lee Jul 2014
Like Fine Wine,

my thoughts are caught in a bottle....

And I do not have a corkscrew!!!
Jul 2014 · 1.1k
WHISPERS
Paula Lee Jul 2014
Your whispers walk across my memory
begging to be heard by me

I miss you girl, please believe *

They tiptoe across my heart
Leaving colored smudges like abstract art

I Promise I didn't want to part

Memories of your death take over me
making me shake uncontrolably

I'm the Angel watching over you in your grief

Leaving nothing but destruction
of the two of us, life, left only one

Oh! Love, Death was the thief that come.

Oh Baby!
Don't shed those tears over me, I Do Love you past eternity
Jul 2014 · 645
"HONEY"
Paula Lee Jul 2014
When A Love Dies, you say you die,
But Honey!
Let Me tell you something,
I'm dying
Every
Second
of
the
day,
Feeling
the
Pain
every
second
of
the
Hour
on
hour
til
I
die
Because
My
Love
­Is
In
The
Grave
And
I'm
Not
So the next time" Honey"
You tell me you died
because you got jilted

**Think about it!
Jul 2014 · 497
Aw Hell!
Paula Lee Jul 2014
Aw Hell!
       I Lost My Train Of Thought!
You intrude where I don't want you.
I don't want your name to be the first
one I think of,
Or the Last when I go to sleep alone!
Jul 2014 · 648
LONG JOURNEY HOME
Paula Lee Jul 2014
To be so Lucky twice in a lifetime
to Love a man so pure of heart
With Faith anew, I Pledge to you
An Endless Love, an Endless start.

Two Souls entwined, made into one
up and around Loves' unending vine,
twines my Life, your life, ours
as your heart beats, so shall mine.

A Lovesong written in the stars
and to all that lend an ear
A path so finelytuned it sings
so Loud the Angels hear.

And Oh at last to find such joy
A place so Great, known
and now I lay me down to rest
FOR IT"S BEEN A LONG JOURNEY HOME!
Just Dreaming Tonight!
Jul 2014 · 426
MY ANSWER FOR YOU
Paula Lee Jul 2014
For every day your'e there
I feel the warm sweet air
Soft against my cheek
Your hand I do seek
Your every word a song
To last me all day long

And when night envelopes me
your always there to be
My head against your chest
your gentle hand on my breast

Sweet whispers in my ear
your love for me I hear
and as sleep comes to me
your love brings me peace
and in my dreams you say
"Love you forever and a day"
"Good Night Baby"
Jul 2014 · 299
God
Paula Lee Jul 2014
God
Hope Your Grace Sees Me Through
Because Tonight I'm Struggling!
In Jesus' Name
I
Pray!
Amen!
Jul 2014 · 1.5k
OLD MAJESTIC OAK TREE
Paula Lee Jul 2014
A beautiful Angel with broken wings
sits on the bough of an Old Majestic Oak Tree,
Eyes downcast, Tears falling
on an old plaid blanket spread underneath.

Just a broken Angel
Lamenting a Fractured Dream!!!
No Comment!
Jul 2014 · 680
NIGHTMARE
Paula Lee Jul 2014
You come at me at night, invading my mind as I sleep,
Like the riptides of the ocean. You drag me down into
the Netherworld of the sea,
You waiting there, knife in hand plunging in my helpless
body,Again and Again, The Agony of pain in my breast
as you slash your way through my mind. my blood mingling
with the saltwater...

The God of the sea, releasing my battered and bruised Soul
to the surface, Panic leaving me unable to swim paralell to
the shore of this nightmare, can't swim out of your riptide.

My mind Screaming, Screaming me awake, Tears running
down my face, tasting salt on my tongue, Is it from the sea?
The taste so real, Is this Nightmare really over? will it ever
Really be over?
The knifing really happened but not in the sea, but the nightmare is real!
Jul 2014 · 584
Daddy
Paula Lee Jul 2014
You've been gone 43 years today
The little girl in me still cries
Just like it was yesterday it seems
They came to tell me you had died

I shut my memories down, closed tight
Built the walls to protect my heart
I remember nothing of childhood
Not one memory to impart,

The Child inside will cry for you
For Memories lost to this day
Years ago the Slate wiped clean
My Mind still greives, I say

But known, I was loved by you
So on this day, my heart replies
I miss you so **** much daddy
Your child sits here alone and cries!
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