I was reading my book
Snug in my little nook
Entranced by the flowing prose
I was in my comfy clothes
When you came upstairs
You sat in the little egg chair
You maintained the silence
We've developed a reliance
On this strange dynamic
We probably both need a mechanic
After several minutes, I look at you  
You look like you always do
Black hair unbrushed
Face a little flushed
Your looking out the window
The afternoon light setting your face a glow
I think you look pretty this way
Unassuming in the face of the day
Your not trying to be something, you just are
And that has gotten you pretty far

Trains delayed
Nerves frayed
The rain isn't slowing
And the winds keep blowing
I'm stuck on this platform
Trying desperately to keep warm
In my pocket is that photograph
Of me and you having a good laugh
I glance at it every once in a while
Just to make me smile
By now its almost ten
But I couldn't tell you when
I was going to pull into your station
Because that is information
That is being withheld by the fates
And they can't be trifled with petty dates
And the long term plans
That slip right out of our hands
And unravels quicker than string
Because we don't know what the future will bring
But the fates will not beat me down
And I will make it out of this town
I will come home to your smiling face
And hold in a warm embrace

The clouds are bursting
And we are thirsting
We light another cigarette
Drags tinged with regret
The drain drenches
We still sit on the park benches
Damp hair plastered to our skin
I try to speak, but I know not where to begin
My thoughts are unassailable
Contents unmailable
We sit in silence
An unspoken alliance
but we both know
This where we can go
We breath out smoke
You crack a joke
The first voice I've heard in hours
I laugh, I drink in the showers.
Your timing is impeccable

Words spill out from burning lips
Dropping flat on the ground
Away from reaching finger tips
A puddle of words leaking around
Streaming in to the river of conversation
Were it is conformed and perverted
This place sure has imagination
Your words used against you
All for one and none for all
The whole place is a ****** zoo
Everyone takes a fall
Your words need an absolution
They belong to the river to barter
There is no solution
Just wounds and salt water
The cycle goes on and on
So painful and sore
Sense the first dawn
The river flows forever more

The conversational well
We've tapped into
Quickly runs dry

We're left
Gasping
For air

We use our phones
Like shields
From wandering eyes
Silences that linger

Grasping at straws
We deal in small talk
Like a cashier and a customer  
Like people who've never met

Distance has betrayed us
Time has eroded our foundation
But if we dig deep enough
We will discover why we were friends

The petals all ripple and cascade
Shining and glowing as they fade
They descend slowly into the atmosphere
Landing on alien ground without fear
The moonbeams dance on the night air
The stars float on without a care
The whole cosmos swirls on without end
Working in patterns we can't comprehend
We treat it like some sort of machine
Trying to figure out what it all means
Gazing at the blackness of space
Instead of the flowers in front of your face

We just crossed state lines
According to the highway signs
With the sun rising at our backs
We're covering up our tracks
Cutting off the loose ends
Leaving all our old "friends"
You've got this look on your face
Like you've just won the big race
You put your foot flat on the ground
And the engine makes a roaring sound
Were racing down the interstate
Trying to out run our fate
Your laugh has undertones of insanity
Or maybe that's just your vanity
As your eyes glow in the misty morning air
I try and figure out whats going on in there
But you're an impossible equation
Skilled in misdirection and evasion
A problem I have no hope of solving
Because you are constantly evolving
You grab a bottle of wine from the back seat
You open it one handed, no easy feat
You take a fantastically long drink
You pass it to me and give me a wink
And we drive off to face the day
Some people might call us crazy, but I prefer it this way.

I want my lips to taste like cupcakes
and for that I have you to blame
I've purposely cut the brakes
and I think you've done the same
with that one decision
we have come to grips
that there will be a collision
between our lips
and as my lips crash into yours
I can feel you smile when we kiss
I see your eyes soar
and we experience bliss

Why does life dangle things in front of us only to have them snatched away. As if the universe was simply ******* with us. If there is a god he sure has a ****** up sense of humor. Things are so delicate. We gather all the sturdy things we can find and hide within them. We are afraid to grasp for new things. The untested things the maybe breakable things. We fear that they might fall apart in our hands. and then we are we? we are standing outside our fortress of stability in the battlefield of fear and dreams with the pieces of dreams digging into our hands. So we retreat. and clutch the familiar things.

I lie here in the dark
Your inches away from my face
Its 1AM  in this park
and were staring into space
In the darkness there is calm
You can hear the hum of the earth
The trace of your fingertips on my palm
Its an endless cycle of death and rebirth
We breathe in the silence of the night
The crisp air rejuvenates our hearts
We stare at the flickering street light

We walk in a silence that begs to be broken
The words we wish to say go unspoken
I can almost see the tension
Reality is put in suspension
I can feel the words on my tongue
They are as foolish as I am young
I can't do this;I can't look into your eyes
And tell you warm sweet lies
Right now truth is the only path
In the head i've done the math
Thought out every word
How to strike every conversational chord
I just need to propel myself down this dead end
Some wounds never mend

Sparks fly as swords clash
Fire smolders into ash
Lights extinguishing
Hopes diminishing
Men giving in to desperation
It provides amplification
With their backs pushed against the wall
They will give it there all
Hope withers in their eyes
As they are strangled by an expansive web of lies
Its a rich man's war but a poor man's fight

Victims of circumstance
A slow lovely dance
Fire ever consuming
Ever blooming
Grass always growing
Water always flowing
Find your direction
Walk through the intersection
Find your voice
Make a choice
Not everything black and white
You need insight
Read musty books
Listen to babelling brooks
Learn the wonders of the Earth
For all it is worth
To learn that it is utterly harmonious
It is simply euphonious

Polaroids of the two of us scattered on the passenger seat
I drive down this endless highway
Everything seems to shimmer in the heat
A/C broken, windows down, Cigarettes in the ash tray
Bridges burning hot behind me,light the path
The car burning on fumes of hope and fear
The clouds behind me, thick with wrath
I drive towards the beach, i was never much of a romantic
I took you here once last year
We held hands an watched the sun sink into the Atlantic
I wonder what the hell drove me here
The memories haunt me like ghosts
All of them hidden deep in the vaults
But I am attracted to them like moths to a flame
I start wondering about faults
and who is to blame
And the what ifs and what might have been
Even the good times seem tainted
Discolored with anger and too much gin
All these memories and the picture the painted
All at the sight of dihydrogen oxide
They rushed forward like a flood
Overflowing my heart inside
I guess water is thicker then blood

I haven't heard another voice in three whole days
I soak in the suns rays
Driving with all the windows down
Trees look like blurs of green and brown
I'm taking back roads that people have forgotten
On the trees the fruit grows rotten
It's just me and the warm radio static
Talking to myself has become almost automatic
I get this feeling, one that I can't explain
I stop the car on the corner of Old Sandwich Road and Norway Lane
I get out of the car, my feet uncertain as they hit the ground
I don't hear a single human sound
Only the wind dancing on the leaves
And the sun touching everything it perceives
The birds talking in the slow summer air
A song leaves my lips like a signal flare
It was wordless song
It felt like it would belong
In the endless choir of the trees
My hair is ruffled by the breeze
As if the forest was patting me on the head
I get back in the car and drive the endless road ahead

Light dances in her eyes.
Her laugh softly lingers
Slowly drifting high into the deep blue skies
She has her life on her fingers.

She wanders from town to town
Making brief meaningful connections
Traveling away from a wedding gown.
She lacks a sense of direction

She hardly thinks, she just does
acting on impulse without a second thought
she does not need a because
she doesn't want to be bought

She runs from herself
her shadow taller then her soul
she wants to put it on the shelf
so she can obtain her goal

Her eyes gleam in the light
Like stolen treasure
Her laugh replays in your mind
Long after she leaves
She is never there long enough
For the cracks to surface
For her laughter to ring hollow
For you to notice that
Her smile doesn't reach her eyes
She wanders from place to place
But she is not lost
She is fleeing
From the ghosts
That haunt the church
That she left behind
Five thousand miles ago

I knock back water bottles
And drive down the empty highway
My eyes focused on the fuel gauge
Pull into the gas station
Pay too much for too little
Whatever, its only money
I'm almost there
Countless miles behind me
Fuckfuckfuckfuck
It hits me
My brain goes into overdrive
Every possible reality plays out in my mind
All of them detached from reality
I think with such certainty
I almost say hello to my breakfast again
I pull over
I put the seat all the way back
And stare out the moon roof
All the clouds look like you
I guzzle down another water bottle
It helps disperse the biblical disaster that is my stomach
I reach tentatively for my cell phone
I dial your number seven times before i get the ***** to call
You answer.
I panic.
You sound good.
You tell me you miss me.
Fireworks. Marching bands. The key to the city
I answer calmly. That i will arrive shortly
We hang up.
I drive faster then scientists thought possible.

The ghosts in my head are threatening to take shape
Thoughts covered in so much caution tape
I mutter softly out loud
Muttering things that set me apart from the crowd
Wondering whywhywhy
As I stare into the deep blue sky
All the clouds somehow all look like her
The lines between thought and reality start to blur
It all swirls round in my head
A raging storm of confusion and dread
Jolts of emotion course through my heart
And its tearing me apart
Being pulled in all directions
All memories bring me to the same blocked intersection
Wondering how the hell we got here
Driven by love passion and fear
Then she left and walked away
She always used to stay
But I'm getting the hint that She's not coming back
And I'm in this state of permanent heart attack
Its been like Three weeks and seven days
And i still can't forget her gaze
Sweet poison tinged ecstasy
As i try to live this relive this deranged fantasy

Believe in dead miracles
Uncover the magical
There's something strangely hypnotic
Something deeply exotic
Stemming from the chaotic order
Bursting from every border
Synchronized to the degree of insanity
A seed planted in all of humanity
A spark of entropy
An orchestrated symphony
Magic all flowing from a point uncertain
All hidden behind an iron curtain
We must dig within and dig deep
To the find the harvest we must reap
Their roots deep in the annals of our being
Trying to see whats worth seeing
Their roots spreading wild
All the wisdom of the old, the innocence of a child
Our plants all connected in a glorious field
To see what wonders we can yield

The whole place smelled like a **** hospital; sterile and white
And then I broke out of there in the middle of the night
And I felt utterly free
I didn't know what it meant to be me
But I was about to find out
I cast aside the shackles of self doubt
And I shall attack the world like a starving dog to a slab of meat
I jumped and I manage to land on my feet.

You've been living in my head
You’re three months behind on your rent
I posted countless eviction notices
But you ignored them all

You've barricaded yourself in there
You linger like a disease
You have infected my memories
And soon they will start to fester

When I smell fresh bread in the morning
You used to make breakfast
When I hear Ben Folds Five
That was your favorite band

In the middle of the night
In the darkness and the silence
I can hear you moving in my head
And it keeps me awake

Watching TV with the volume turned down
Your asleep on my shoulder wearing your night gown
Your fingers are interlaced with mine
On the table theres an empty bottle of wine
Outside the rain pelts the glass
You subconsciously squeeze my hand as we wait for it to pass
A thunderstorm in the middle of spring
You're not used to this kind of thing
You start to shake and i bring you close into my chest
I hold you tight, hoping you would get some rest.
You wake up and i get the ice cream
and we talk about what we dream
We talk about what we love and what we fear
We talk about the things we hold dear
we talk about life and love
and the things up above
We talk until we fall asleep to the hum of rain
and we hold each other and keep sane.

Eyes thick with prophecy
Things only I can see
Fire burning
No ones learning
The wind howls
Straight from hell's bowels
An unatural cold
Watching death unfold
Its spreading its dark cloak
All clouded with smoke
Simple subtraction
A toxic attraction
Flirting with death
Savoring every breath
We fear what we can't understand
Fear and hate go hand in hand
Demons rising
Supernatural uprising
Fear shall plauge the Earth
And we shall give birth
To hatred and fear
Tainting all who are near
Evil in all we see
Only wishing to be free
From paranoia rises insecurity
A wish to return to obsecurity
Evil in every glass of water
Like lambs to the slaughter
We shall turn on each other
Brother against brother
insanity shall rule
Fear is an incindery fuel
Ignition results in a chain reaction

The fire burns bright
A pyromaniacs delight
The smoke eternally rises
It burns off our disguises
We sit and watch in awe
As we stare into our own proto-star
It gives light but it consumes
It gives life and seals dooms
Two sides of the burnt coin

The fireworks burst in the sky
And the colors swirl and fly
The night air is heavy with heat
And the grass is wet beneath our feet
The mosquitos feast on our skin
Its a battle we can never hope to win
The fireworks burn so bright
But to me it never seemed quite right
That such beauty vanishes so fast
I just wanted that shining moment to last

Flames consume her lips
Light dances on her fingertips
Her eyes are cold with desire
How can i light her fire?
To make her laugh dance and smile
Even though its been awhile
My brain is wired
And at the same time so very tired
With all the games i play
All the things that come but never stay

Words pour out.
Flooding the mind
Weaving the seeds of doubt
Hands in a bind
slowly drowning in words
she looks with a blank stare
her silence stabs like sharp swords
she doesn't care
the single stream of words stop
eyes fill with tears
she leaves the shop
now just empty with fears

A string of blooming flowers, bright and fast like a wildfire
The sun dims as it begins to tire
Its fleeting light bouncing around the wood
Where a shrine of ancient trees have always stood
And the flowers are veils on a stunning bride
A true beauty that you can not hide
The roses burn like a fire storm
As the sunlight is still warm
The sun now fallen
The moon has begun its calling

The impossible is incredible
Eating the utterly inedible
its a flight
Its utter delight
To see your confusion
Unable to reach a conclusion
Its beyond your understanding
And I don't plan on landing
Waiting for the fever to break
Seeing whats at stake.
The fire is burning
And no one is learning
So I glide up here in the atmosphere
Seeing all that is far and near
I fly up here until i can land
And people can understand

Warm echoes of silence
Cold faded memories of violence
They all flood my head
Fear and doubt keep them fed
Dark whispers in my ear
i wish to be with out fear
To be free
To just be me
Free of all this weight
All of it cleared off my plate
So i can be free as a bird
Not to care about a word

The future is suffocating us. Get good grades to get in a good college to get a good job to make good money to support your family and your 2.5 children. When I hear that I hear regurgitate the curriculum that's shoved down your throat to go into to debt to get a job you hate to support the family you don't want.Well **** that. **** your rules. All this so called "order" to protect a system that's burning around us. A system that seems to **** the life out of you. They tell you how you will be happy and how you must do it. You just have a choice of what profession you will be underpaid and overworked in. The poor get poorer and the rich get richer.  Well **** your future and **** your planning. Its just a big labyrinth and i wish i could get out of it twisting alleyways and dead end Cul-de-sacs. Live in the now and let the past pass and the future come.

Everything that falls eventually rises
On the game show of our lives
There are so many fantastic prizes
Fast cars for the long drives
People come and go so quickly
Its an ever changing cast
Of the weak the strong and the sickly
Its all smoke and mirrors that move too fast
We're all on public access cable
A confusing show without a host
Were not a fairytale or some fable
We are a game show from coast to coast

The stars glowed like dying embers in the ash
As the skyline and the stars clashed
I looked with squinting eyes
Trying to decipher the night skies
Like an old sailor lost at sea
I try to get free
From the sidewalk the buildings look impossibly tall
It made me feel impossibly small
The streets twist and turn
Almost randomly, as if they didn't want me to return
Cell phone long dead
I try and keep a level head
I continue into the dead of night
Guided only by the hollow glow of street lights
I looked for landmarks by which to navigate
To perhaps subvert my fate
Of being lost forever

Trapped beneath the surface of the ice again
Nothing I say will penetrate the thick crust of permafrost
That has surrounded and enveloped me.
Sympathies of my confidants have been exhausted
A well has been bled dry by slow repetition.  
There’s a black hole in the center of my chest
Nothing escapes from its dark clutches
Nothing escapes this  tempest, only silence remains,
The lake is calm on the surface
But underneath lies a vortex threatening to consume everything in its path.
Everything is a puzzle waiting to be solved.
With the right knowledge and perspective, conundrums can be unraveled.
But I can’t seem to solve myself.
I want to untie the gordian knot
Revealing the root cause of my problems.
Ghosts from the past that need to be confronted.
The past is always erupting into the present
Interrupting the natural progression of things.
The past nudges things ever so slightly
Until you're on a path wondering how you ended up there.
In order to confront the apparitions of the past,
They must be summoned first.
Offer them memories buried underneath years of emotional sediment.
The ghosts of my past are murky nameless things that are beyond definition.
Will naming the things that have haunted me dispel them?
What if nothing is gained from digging up the bodies and studying the bones beneath the earth that was better left undisturbed.

Oh I'm going to Japan
All according to plan
Trapped in this little plane
Going a little insane
Staring out the window
Seeing the wind blow
The clouds look odd
And I'm a little awed
Miles above the ground
And there's not a sound
Save that one snoring man
That screaming child, whose name I gather is Stan
And that one obsessive compulsive flight attendant
Who I think is dependent
On those little pink pills that keep appearing in her hand
But its fine, its alright, I'm going to Japan.
Land of the rising sun
Here I come, even if I'm the only one
Getting off this accursed sardine can.
At least I'll be arrested in Japan.

You took all beer out of the fridge
After burning the last bridge
After fighting the last fight
You left in the middle of the night
After I went to the Red Roof Inn
Because I couldn't start what was about to begin
But you started without me
You saw what I didn't want to see
Gone; were all of your possessions
and with you, all of my confessions
I still had more I wanted to say
But maybe its better this way
No long awkward conversations
No failing each other expectations
Just silence

My words wrapped in a chain
Restricting my choked refrain
Fear the words i say
Cutting deep into your way
The Warm blood spills
Take it away before it refills
The blood of the fearful,the blood of the sheep
It's for them we weep
You are leeches that **** out our blood
Leaving us in **** and mud
Were taking it all back
Before it turns black
Tangling us in your web of lies
We see through your disguise
We know what you are
You've made it this far
The grass will still grow
And the wind will still blow
But you will be gone and forgotten
Dead decayed and rotten
A new day will dawn
We will stay and you will be gone

My thoughts are a mess
A side effect of the stress
I cherry pick the loose strands
And hold them in my hands
They are written in an unknown code
I think I'm going to explode
External pressure ever consuming
I wish I could see what was looming
Right around the bend
Maybe its the end
But I can't even make sense of the present
Can't tell its intent
I'm scared, I'm ******, I'm terrified
My senses are highly electrified
I'm moving fast but I don't know where I'm going
And I don't show any signs of slowing
I'm afraid of crashing
While the green light is flashing.

All the colors swirl and mix
Becoming something grey that i can not fix
All colorless and shapeless and beyond definition
I wonder how it got in this helpless condition
The music stopped playing and children stopped smiling
And now its all office work and senseless filing
The grey offices with all the grey people inside
They all just want to provide
The blanket of grey clouds covers the light
And below them people move out of sight
The streets lie in waste and disuse
And people live in houses of self abuse
Towers of videos and junk food cover the floor
You can't seem to reach the door
Its all seem so grey
All i can do is pray
That we can find some color

Cursed by geography
By Latitude
And Longitude
Enslaved by History
Ground drenched with blood
Corrupted by ghosts
Toxic down to the bedrock

I hold tight to my locket
Splotches of grey clouding  my vision
I wonder if my eyes are falling out of the socket
And I think with such terrifying precision
Rapid expansion and contraction
My breathing is out of sync
And its starting a chain reaction
I'm sliding toward the brink
I hate this hospital bed
I hate this room with its sickly white walls
And the ever-pressing reminder of the dead
That sometimes pass down these halls
Nobody talks straight
Always just euphemistic *******
I need someone to translate
I want to quit
But I won't, I can't
To sever my ties
To uproot my plant
That would only quicken my demise
I will hold fast
And hope that it can last

Air rushed from her lungs
The spring has been sprung
Her vision twisted and turned
As she tries to salvage the burned
Her eyes can not comprehend
How her world reached this end
She looked into the depths of insanity
And saw her burning vanity
Her mansion burned to ground
What was lost can not be found

The idea burst.
Who knew/cared who thought it first
Suddenly it spawned
A new day had dawned
We all saw it in our eyes
It was ours and it shall rise
We all spilled it put on paper
This escapade,this adventure,this caper
It was shared, it was brilliant, it was thinking in motion
Nice to see sensibility mingle with emotion

When I try to write about you
It always sounds hollow and untrue
When i try to capture the feel of your face
I stare and stare and then finally erase
every description feels inadequate
none of the words ever seem to fit
all of my words have been taken away
and I'm left with feelings that i can't  say

You hold a little slice of infinity in your hands
Kept together with duct tape and rubber bands
The air felt heavy and oppressive
Yet you still managed to be expressive
You manipulate strands of time and space
Building a bridge to every imaginable place
You see the colors in between
You've seen things that I've never even seen
You put words to every shade of emotion
We are all just rain drops in your ocean
You're a wild flower growing in the pavement
Ever word you say is two that you meant
All with your little slice of infinity
Made you seem like divinity

Let the information flow
Let it flow among us
Among us it will grow
And there will be quite the fuss
They will try to silence it
They will cut off our ears
And throw us into a deep dark pit
They will play on our fears
They sit on a throne of lies
With us at their feet
They shoo away the flies
As they have a meet and greet

It was daybreak
We were still awake
The sky was basked in a pale light
as the sun came to end the night
We were sitting on the ground
Your breathing was the only sound
That I could hear
And I wanted us to disappear
from the flow of time
Preserve us in our prime

At the height of my sleep deprivation
I saw the sun rise two times in one day  
And my brain cried out in desperation
As all my thoughts remain in disarray.
My blankets are trying to smother me.
I've memorized the cracks in the ceiling.
I just need for my body to be free,
To escape this never ending feeling
That I will always be trapped in my mind
Haunted by the ghosts of my past mistakes
Unable to face the world I will find
When this fever eventually breaks.
Only in my dreams do I find my peace
That is where all my anxieties cease