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It hurt. And I don't mean because you're gone and we are no longer.

It hurts because it mattered.
It hurts because I know
I am no longer keeping
you happy, or healthy
or helping you grow

I wasn't upset because you need to move on.
Yes, I'm upset because I don't have you.
But mostly I'm just upset because you
meant the world to me,
and same for you,
but I broke your universe.
I cried into her shoulder
I expressed my fears
I became silent

Picture a ladder
she says.
Now imagine a ladder
that has been used
time and time again
for someone to reach the roof
even if for just a second.
What happens to the ladder?

It breaks.

Your ladder isn't made of
She can't be expected
to stay strong for
your own purposes.

Send the ladder to get fixed.
give her some repair time.
She's not one to leave you.

But I'm scared
I choke

I know you are.
We're all scared.
We all fear something.

But don't run.
You can't run.
I won't write your eulogy
Because I don't want to
imagine a world without you.
The same old routine
isn't the same
without you there.
  Dec 2014 Paralyzed traveler
I find it ironic how
I'm able to create extravagant
Sentences that leave others speechless.
But when you're around
I'm the one that's at a loss for words.

The things she said to me 
Settled into the crevice 
Of my heart 
Previously unoccupied 

The tighter she hugged me
The warmer I felt
I could never recreate 
Her love for me

The words 
"Adopted" float around 
In my head
Like clouds in the sky

I've thought about it
A thousand times
And now I know
She thinks of it too.
Ironically enough, I'm 90% I'm not adopted. I wish with all my heart I was, and this is about being called someone's adopted daughter, but no, I am not adopted as far as I know.
When the rain comes down,
   it's okay to cry
But stay firm--hold your ground
   I'll be there to clear your skies
I'm always around;
   can you feel it in your heart?

If clear skies go black,
   know I'll get you through the storm
Just don't look back,
   and be strong
Soon, you shall bask
   beneath our stars before long

When the wind is a wisp
   at your back;
if it should send a crisp
   chill down your spine,
that's just me... as I wish
   for you to find you way to me

If you lose sight   of the moon,
   let Orion lead the way
Follow the light,
   and don't you stray
We wil find our wings,
   then each other, one day
I’d rather live in Africa
Than ever live with you
I’d rather live in Africa
Or search the ocean blue
I’d rather live in Africa
Than in this place called home
I’d rather be anywhere other than this
Because all I ever do is moan
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