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Somedays like today
I want to curl up in bed
wanting to hurt myself
somedays like today
I want to drink myself to death
somedays like today
I want to cry till
I don't hear my brain
Somedays like today
I wish I didn't exist
At all
4:21am,
and I’m not sure where the hours went
Wondering if it’s worth it all,
all of the wasted time spent?
Struggling to keep myself around
Plummeting deep into the ground
The line I crossed is where I’m bound
A game of lost and never found

4:32am,
and I’m not sure when it started
Wondering if I deserve it all,
whatever left me broken hearted?
A shallow rise for a deeper low
If I swallow lies then I can’t let go
It’s always yes when it should be no
But I reminisce what I used to know

4:43am,
and I’m not sure how it ended
Wondering if I divert it all,
will I come out the other side mended?
I hide in thoughts buried in my head
Live inside the plots I made up instead
I can’t revive when I know I’m dead
And I won’t survive in the life I’ve led

4:54am,
and I’m not sure if I’m myself again
Wondering if I revert it all,
can I go back in time before it all began?
I knew it’s wrong but it felt too right
I grew so strong but I lost the fight
Intertwined with the depths of night
It’s where I find just a glimmer of light

The silence is deafening when it makes a sound

©
Orchids wilt and rot
in time.
Roses have thorns that
***** to bleed.
Seeds bring life that
ultimately dies.
In lieu of flowers
give me your
eyes full of
heat and desire.
Surrender your heart of
passion, but most of all,
water me with your
love so that I can grow.
Check out my book, Seedy Town Blues Collected Poems on Amazon.com.
Here is a link to my you tube channel where I read my poetry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDs9dUjQz58
 Jan 2024 shadowedsilhouette
Ally
I rise to greet the dawn

distracting my heart

I take a sip of dark roast

and exhale

today I will

just breathe
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