i love you
immensely
intensely
immediately

i love you right now
tomorrow no different from today

i love you
in the morning like the sun
in the evening like my sheets

i had you
and it was nothing

i held you
heart wrenching

how do you say your name?
how do you sound when you laugh?

i can't access these memories anymore

i was in love with a dancer
all i had was my two left feet

know every time he'd call me
i'd think 1 and 1 is 2
2 and 2 is three

didn't make sense at all
but hell, i was i
he was he

i wasn't fire
i was ash

no explosion
it just died down
like the music come 3am
still awake but it's time to go

he would fly too high
and i'd take a fall
by the end i knew
we can't have it all

you came to me
big bright fire
but you were ready to be put out

i had with me
the coldest hands
desperate for warmth

we drew landscapes with our tongues

we wore our spirits like capes

we relied on instincts

and met in separate realities



I would


gather your mistakes and dig up a hole

bury it deep and water it down

wait for the sun as you dream in your sleep

think a little longer, learn like machines

we've had civilization's rise
civilization's crumble
and the inevitable race we run
with our declining chance of wonder

chewing on words that've been taught
prayers with no meaning
clinging on hopes created
to satisfy our being

philosophies debated
as if spoken in native tongues
what has not been forgotten
can never be undone

now throw us in the fire,
wait for skin to crawl
speak to your master
as if you've seen nothing at all

so count all your senses
I think you've lost one
you've followed false commandments
you're beaten, used, and dumb

tolerance is for the helpless
command is for the meek
live in skin that's yours, not His
and question what You seek

You send me e-mails everyday.
I hate it.
I hate you.
I'm a terrible liar.
I almost always don't mean what I say.

Here's the truth:
You're probably the most important person to me right now.
It scares me but I trust you.
I wanna know everything about you.
I want a trade of histories.

If I could be with you, I would.
but that's the thing..

You have to know where I'm coming from,
there is hesitation.
There are nights like this one,
where I am left confused,
where I entertain my doubts.

I am skeptical
but I long for you.
I am hesitant
but I speak the truth.

I want you to keep holding my hand,
I want to listen to music with you,
I want us to share triumphant struggles,
I want cozy mornings that smell of vanilla.

Of vanilla,
of dimmed lights,
of favourite songs,

there is much to say.

YOU:
An old soul
An old friend
A new love

These are my thoughts.
These are my feelings.
This is my life,
wipe your shoes and step right in.

Pache Paredes
May 2012
pch.paredes@yahoo.com