How I wish I wasn't such a horrible person
That pretends not to be so that
he may mingle with the rest of the humans
How I wish i was a natural, a prodigy, at something
anything really
so that I could at last give my spirit
the recognition it
seems to feel it deserves
How I wish I would stop pushing all
of my lovers away
one by one
they all vanish
Like driftwood
into the depth that is
the enormous ocean that my empty heart
has become
How I wish that she loved me
how I wish I could love my family like many, many do
how I wish I wasn't me