for i can go outside alone,
amongst the due and feel
at last and one with you.

I'll leave you words
underneath your door
underneath the singing moon

near the place where your feet may pass by
hidden in the holes of wintertime
and when you're alone for a moment

kiss me
whenever you want

when i walk through hotel hallways with their quiet walls and flat carpets and the smell of the chlorine from the pool i transcend space and time and find peace.

i chug the bottle
and look around

i see you standing
there, with girls
hanging on to you.

i scowl and ask for
another bottle, i take
the next bottle and
take another swig.

i close my eyes as
the liquid burns
down my throat.

i open my eyes to
find you sitting next
to me.

you smile at me as
if nothing was wrong,
when everything was
the opposite of good

but you keep smiling,
ignoring the glares of
the other girls.

and you ask me,
"are you okay"

i look down at my
bottle and mutter,
"im fine"

"are you sure", you
ask.  

"no," i reply back,
my voice cracking
at the end, "not at all"

he looks at me with
such tender care and
says, "im sorry"

i carefully lift my head
and turn to look at him

his eyes are staring
back at mine with
so much intensity
that i am mesmerised.

and

as if i was under a spell,

i open my mouth and
utter the words that ive
kept hidden for so long,

"i love you"

louder than
your demons

i do.
but I am afraid of making that love too important.
because you’re always going to leave me.
we can’t deny it.
you’re always going to leave.

i listen to the dream
and all i hear is you

you don't have me on my knees
but tonight's the night

and you're describing water

at school people ask me,

"you look tired, are you sleeping okay?"
"are you okay?"

i just answer,

"I'm fine."

but sometimes i just want someone to look at me in the eyes and say,

"no you're not"

H - hopeless
A - annoying
P - pretty depressed
P - probably suicidal
Y - yearning for death

trying to add good people to my life.

i wish

         i could

see you

if you want to hurt me
baby just hurt me

I'M SORRY THAT I'M DISTANT AND
NEEDY AND SAD ALL THE TIME AND
I'M SORRY THAT I OVERTHINK
EVERYTHING AND I'M SORRY THAT I
DON'T SAY THE RIGHT THINGS I'M
SORRY THAT I SAY SORRY TOO MUCH.

lately
i haven't been
feeling well
and i'm sorry if
i don't smile as much
i'm sorry if
my words hurt a bit more
i'm sorry if
you don't like how i do things
and
i'm sorry if
instead of hurting myself
the way i used to
i am hurting you instead
it's hard to scream
without my voice
now i can't cry for help
now i have to wait
for someone to see me trying
i'm sorry.

Z
　　E
　　　 R
　　　　 O
　　　　　o
　　　　　 o
　　　　　o
　　　　 。
　　　 。
　　　.
　　　.
　　　 .
　　　　.

make sure you live your life to the fullest.

                                                                                                        thank you.

thank you.

People told me
"get over it"
I tried

People told me
"get better grades"
I tired

People told me
"stop being quiet"
I tried

People told me
"you look tired, get more sleep"
I tried

People told me
"just **** yourself already"
I'm trying.

am i being too inconsiderate?
but i've been giving you all
pieces of me, all parts of me
when you give me no parts of you

why won't you let me

in

I need you to hold
me and make me
feel like I'll be
alright because i know
you are stronger than
i am

and I need you to kiss
me so softly as you
can and whisper
against my lips
that you love
me so
I'll feel those words at the
base of my
spine.

it is okay not to feel fine.
it is okay not to know what to do.

trust your gut instincts.

they are usually right

i consider everyday i don't die a success

The irony eats away at me.
He's got hope, literally.
and I'm stuck hopeless
starting to wonder how long
it'll be before i will
come to my senses and give up
on the boy who's given up on me

​
MY HATRED FOR YOU
IS SO DEEP
DEEPER THAN ANY TRENCH
THAT LIES BENEATH THE
RAGING OCEAN
THAT I CALL MY MIND
I WILL ALWAYS RAGE ON
EVEN WHEN THE WORST
OF HURRICANES COME
NOTHING WILL DESTROY
THIS RAGE AND HATRED
*I HOLD INSIDE

i have to close the closet
      or my brain will itch me mad

i have to count the knives
      or i might do something bad

i have to tap the table
      even on both hands

i have to do it right
     or my brain will itch me mad
                              itch me mad
                              itch me mad

let's stay
and play
today

‘I knew you would need me.’

no matter what or how i think

i think a part of me is broken.
i feel like something is pressing my heart.
it feels so frustrating, and it makes me sad.

what should i do?

i tried
explaining why i was so sad
but nothing could come out
that was when i realised
i didn't know why
either

its not what it looks like

the meds do nothing.

empty and distant.

you're trying to sleep.

me

i waited in front of the door, waiting and waiting.

you said you would be back by monday.

but now it's friday.  you left last sunday.  

the week has ended and
my love is for you is slowly
drifting away.

i dressed myself and went out today.  

i met someone who treats me better than you did
                         who comforts me when i need it
                         who calls me beautiful

                         who loves me for who i was

tears don't mean you're losing

everybody's bruising

*just be true to who you are

"it's okay if i'm not
your favourite
chapter you have
written,
but i hope you
sometimes smile
when you flip
back to the pages
i was still apart of."

​
ITS OK TO LEAVE HIM IF HE HURTS YOU
ITS OK TO LEAVE HIM IF HE HURTS YOU
ITS OK TO LEAVE HIM IF HE HURTS YOU
*IT IS OK TO LEAVE HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM