(Disclaimer: Read from top to bottom, then bottom to top)

No,
When I said
Yes
He gave me
Everything.
I never wanted
Him to stop
I wanted
More of him.
He gave me
That side of him,
He gave no one else

i poured my
heart
into a jar
with a
hole
in the bottom

it's okay to be sad.
it's just not okay to stay that way.

You left.
I won't forget how empty my hands felt
Or the bottles I grabbed to fill them
I had to drive through the valley of our silence
And my ears never bled so much
I have punctured knees and bruised hands from begging
And all that's left of my hope is the dust between my fingers
Days move along but time is still
And the clocks tick louder in the dark
But I've learned that shadows only exist when there's light
So I found comfort in the black
Where I can't see my existence
I can't see your absence
And all I can feel is the cold floor on my hollow chest
****** I need to feel you now.

I'd have a better chance breathing with collapsed lungs
But I'd use my last breath to tell you to stay.
Please stay.

The only constant in my life is excruciating Anxiety,  
Lost sleep,                            
Loss of appetite,                    
All I ever think is "Why me?"  
I am becoming my own ghost,
And nobody even knows
that I am gone.
Every day is one step in the wrong direction.
Constant over thinking,
& The tightness in my chest is becoming overbearing.
Will I ever be someone that will be worth remembering?  
Will I ever climb out of this grave?
Will I ever live long enough to find out why, Why me?