Do you ever just feel empty?
As though your veins are hollow and insides are nothing but air?
As though you look at yourself but you dont see any colour
Like you are feeling so much that you've just stopped feeling at all?

Because thats how I feel right now
Hopefully it wont last for long

I feel ugly
I feel horrible
Im honestly such a mean person without ever wanting to be
I want to smile
I want to be kind
But honestly Im breaking inside
I honestly want to fling myself off a bridge
At least then Id stop hurting people
At least then I could join my nana and grand dad

But I couldnt and wouldnt
It would hurt too many people

So I guess I just have to continue waiting until my lungs take me
Which shouldnt be too long v.v

Another one
Another person dying
Another story
Another smile
Another tale
I dont know if I can cope
I feel as though Im not even drowning anymore
More like allergic to oxygen.

All I need is someone to lean on
Im sorry if that drags you down
Maybe you could lift me up
Well if your strong enough
We could even take turns
I just want to know someone cares
It may be annoying
But ive been told im worthless my whole life

Im just scared
That one day
You really wont care
You will realise im worthless
And leave
Just like everyone else did

Im dying
Emotionally and physically
I dont think I want to live in a world without her
Shes my bestfriend
I remember sitting in her kitchen for hours just listening to her life
She would tell me of black and white tvs, ehen you had to scrub floors on your knees
She taught me that hard work is worth it
If she leaves
Ill miss her hugs
Her talks
Going to her house regularly
Her "i love yous"
Her baking
Ill even miss the thick fog of smoke that clung to the walls slowly turning her own home into a haunted home.

I guess all you can do is hope for the best