I looked for you
Amongst the pale and grey
As I saw you fading away
Melting
Into the concrete
Falling to defeat

So I bent a knee
Inaudible prayers for you
Then unlaced my walking shoes
Time
I placed into your cup
Hoping it would be enough

No plan to stop the tears
Inelegant, no grace
Shirt wet where you buried your face
Grief
I lost you in your pale and grey
But I know I’ll find you again in a smile

We’ll speak and measure
Only the amount you need
Contemplating long walks and sore feet
Rising
Don your shoes, pick you up
As you did for me miles before

Say aloud who you are
Is it who you pretend to be?

If happiness is such a lofty goal
Then why’s it’s aftertaste misery?

The shoes are on you feet
The road ahead of you is long

It’s time to take first of many steps
Don’t worry if they miss you when you’re gone

Say aloud what you see
And don’t believe it for a second

So many things in your memory
So many more worth forgetting

If love was all it took from you
Then we’d all be better creatures

Remember that even the strongest love
If not maintained, is still a feature

Say aloud what you feel
Feelings are leaves upon a changing wind

So many look to end it all
Because they’re too afraid to begin

Tie yourself to the firmest vow
Be what your wildest wild, your freest free

Say aloud who you are
Is it who you pretend to be?

There was ground under me
That now I can’t seem to find
A love within my grasp
That might have just been in my mind
A blooming flower
That turned out to be imagination
And a reason to live
That was of my own creation
I hear the ticking clock
And realize it’s my beating heart
I’m scared to find the source
‘Cause it might be ripped apart
So much life in front of me
If I could only live it
So much love in front of me
If my heart would just forgive it...

...self

Cracked is all I’ve known
Frayed lines my only home
My soul is pouring out like yoke
I find I’m not whole

I have yet to find a “why”
Too poor to live, too young to die
A tightrope walker hanging by a thread
A teacup continually chipping

And the audience applauds at such
My measures to see I don’t break too much
These words of crimson color pour
From gaping crevasses

I form each tearing truth to roses
Each biting ache I self compose
Compressed into symphonies of diamond
The wound unhealed, but heard

The piercing dagger now my pen
My mind plunging it, twisting again
To find the joy of my head sorrows
So beautifully broken

Beautiful girl
Untamed woman
A tapestry amongst the grey

She lives in technicolor
Her lips a plethora
Each shade lingering there

Her legs were bows of colored light
My fingers gracing her inners thighs
Reaching in so gently
Yet with purpose
Yet with passion

Watercolors

When I look at you and you close your eyes
I think in mine you may see your reflection
And you close your ears when I call you beautiful
Because it makes you think of your imperfections

The smile you wear as you clear your hair
Eyes bright as summer weather
Have me seeing your prim, have me seeing your proper
When inside you’re barely keeping it together

And I will never know a thing
And you will never say a word
Masking behind breathless charm and beauty
Terrors, tears, and woes unheard

Therein will lie the fear that always lingers
The fear that my feelings are lies
As I look at your shell and you see your reflection
And so you’ll close your eyes

Tears fell from eyes that reflected unseen days
Crashing to the floor, one by one
Like fine china upon rocky ground
And Heaven fell with them
Propelled to take the plunge
Stars submerged in saltwater
A sound I’ll never forget

And I chased every tear that fell
Cupping and collecting each shard
Not know that as I held them in my gaze
That I let Heaven shatter
That I forever lost things irreplaceable
For things that simply
Mattered