I've let my body get so used I don't even want to touch myself anymore
My skin is not mine it is for anyone who wants it
My thighs are not the miraculous limbs that I owe my many great travels to, they are only miles of skin that begs to be touched.
My hair is not silk to cascade over my ears and frame my face, it's purpose is to be wrapped around your fingers and yanked.
Every ripple of pleasure
is a disguise for my disgust, the worthless feeling of being nothing more than a pretty new toy.
You do not worship me but you worship my ability to rip an ****** from your body.
You leave me used and abused in more ways than one
and just like a pretty new toy,
after you play with me
I become as worthless to you
as I have become to myself.

i wish i had known who i was
long before these decisions
but without these decisions
would i have ever known?

I knew that you were drowning
and I did everything I could do to help
I told you to look for the bird in the sky
to let you know that there's land nearby
I can't be there anymore
but I pray
that you can find that hope in yourself
because I know that you are in fact a strong swimmer
and with the right motivation
You can
and you WILL
get to land

I could read your eyes
like the simplest of children's books
I knew the words you spoke
as if I spoke them myself
We
were one in the same
Our hearts broke together
and we spent years
piecing them back, together
I know
every crack of your skin,
every vein in your body
I know the scents that make you weak
and the words that make you fall apart;
and in return
you knew my whole being
We shared an unspoken connection
-why didn’t that stop
my weak faith?
I was given a human
to read me like I ached to be read
yet I always knew that we would not remain
If you asked me why
I could not tell you
I think you knew it too
I'd catch your eye when those songs played
while those voices spoke of yearning for a broken connection
and I'd find them to be as wet as mine
I admire
your faith in us
whether it was because you truly believed it
or because you were afraid of the alternative
I admire that you would confidently tell me that our bond would remain
that we would only get better
Right until the very end
Maybe it was my fault that we didn't
Maybe I wasn't meant to have someone like you,
someone who stole away my independence and gave me another half
Maybe I was meant to be surrounded by distant people
for I wasn't ready
We were sent to each other for a purpose
for when we met
we were both on the edge of breaking
So we broke together
our pieces entertwining themselves
so as to not be alone

if you think of me,
i hope you remember
me as that friend who
was there for you all the time,
without asking anything in return,
partly because i know
you couldn't have given me
anything in return.

i would have to beg.
that's how you are.

Something isn't right
I can taste it on your lips
Feel the tremor through my fingers
Resting on your hips

You are scared of me
Scared what I can do
Someone else has hurt you
Now you're scared I'll hurt you too