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 Mar 2015 Five Fingers
Jim
CacoPHONY
 Mar 2015 Five Fingers
Jim
I’ve done ill; I’ve done bad
B̶u̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶g̶r̶e̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶
B̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶
So I had to say sorry
A̶n̶d̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶s̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶d̶a̶m̶n̶ ̶s̶i̶c̶k̶
Because it’s the right thing to do
E̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶I̶’̶m̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y̶
A̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶
T̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶p̶p̶e̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶
And I’m guilty for committing
An unwritten crime; so, “I’m sorry”
M̶a̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶s̶o̶l̶e̶m̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶l̶
I’m glad you have forgiven me
I̶’̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶g̶l̶a̶d̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶n̶’̶t̶
For now, my heart is light;
no burden to carry.
T̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶ ̶b̶u̶r̶d̶e̶n̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶,̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶.̶
I̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶g̶r̶e̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶.̶ ̶
B̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶;̶ ̶
M̶a̶y̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶l̶.̶
THANK YOU!!!
D̶i̶e̶!̶ ̶S̶l̶u̶t̶!̶ ̶D̶i̶e̶!̶
For giving me a chance.
D̶i̶e̶ ̶s̶l̶o̶w̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶p̶a̶i̶n̶f̶u̶l̶l̶y̶!̶ ̶
I̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶r̶r̶y̶ ̶
A̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶
A̶n̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶
And being your friend again.
This poem is about someone who accepts reconciliation towards an enemy. The words in strikethrough are his real thoughts.
"why don't you look for him instead?"

your stare screamed betrayal
and pain
as your glared into my soul
with your eyes
and i swear
at that moment
my heart shattered
but all i could do
was stare back at you
before covering my pain
with anger.
you tell them:
"she broke up with me"
"she said she'd never leave
but she did"
"she never cared for me
and expected me
to care for her"
"she always lied"
"she broke my heart"

but

i sat in the dark
weeping
and you went out
playing

i was alone.
i called you.
you rejected
my call
and posted
a new photo
on instagram

you refused to meet me
and avoided me in school.

tell me who's heart is broken?
tell me who broke who's heart?

i never left.
you were the one
who walked away.
*******
I like
the sound of your laugh
and how it takes away
all the anguish of my soul
for a little while.

I like
the way you look into my eyes
even though you know
i get self conscious

I like
the way you try to make it up to me
when you push my limits
a little too far
even though i forgave you a while ago

I like
how you make me feel-
all jittery and shy
like a young girl
pretending she knows what love is

but

in the back of my mind
i can see his smile
and the way he runs his hand
through his hair.

in the back of my mind
i can see his excitement
as he shares stories with me
about his favourite things.

In the back of my mind
and late at night
i wonder how is it possible to love
two persons
with two very different personalities
at the same time.
are you still mine?
are we gonna be okay?
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