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 Sep 2014 Nikki Gryphon
Xyns
How about we start at the base
Ground zero
The place of destruction
The beginning of the action
My brain

If you think you can take it
Go ahead, step on in
Welcome to what will probably be
The most traumatic experience
Of your life, yet.

It's a chaotic chronic
A twister of pain, little gain
No production, simply destruction
Addictive personality
Worrisome and stressful reality, honestly

I don't know just how to say it
Or how to express it plainly
So I'm gonna wing it
And hope you people can understand
That I'm truly not all there

Sure, I'm responsible
I'm a smart kid with a bright future
But I don't know if I want that future
I don't know if I want myself either
I'm internally deranged

I like the idea of wasting myself of throwing myself in the flames and playing hopscotch in the smoke rings
Of wandering oblivion
And living in eternal suffering

No, I'm never gonna be a drunk
Never going be a ******
Never gonna trade my soul
To the only one who knows
Just how far I really wanna go

I'm not gonna dive off that cliff
Into that endless abyss
That holds the cold embrace
If the sweetest, purest
Most adored lover's kiss

I'm gonna keep to myself
Leave behind the inhalants
The smokes, drinks, and capsules
And hold my daddy's hand
And stay my little girl self

Meanwhile, on the inside
I'm lighting your home on fire
Throwing your kittens in the river
Slaughtering your children's dreams
And revealing your secrets

Satan can keep his contract
I'll keep my soul, just like you want
But I'll inwardly express the pain
That is my life
Signs of a serial killer, right?

Well, remember
Whatever I become
You made me
Aided the monster
By caging me
 Sep 2014 Nikki Gryphon
Xyns
Feeling like a kid
Is the best happiness
 Sep 2014 Nikki Gryphon
Xyns
I don't know what to do anymore
I give up.
 Sep 2014 Nikki Gryphon
g
i deserve nothing of your calibre
i am a monster
who is worthless
and undeserving of your love

she makes you happy
she is beautiful beyond words
she is kind
everything i am not

you are amazing
inexplicable beauty
everything i am not
yet i'm irrevocably in love with you

so don't mind lil ole me
i'll just stand here
and mend my breaking heart
whilst faking happiness for you
the kind of things i come up with at 12:24am and i'm tired as heck
 Sep 2014 Nikki Gryphon
g
Death.
 Sep 2014 Nikki Gryphon
g
my mama told me
death is a dark dark place
where innocent minds
should not wander

my papa told me
death is a bad thing
and deaths means
the end

my priest told me
death is something uncontrollable
which only God knows
when and where

but
my demons told me
death is beautiful
and every end is a new beginning

they told me
death is not just a place
death is a person
death is me

*i am death
 Sep 2014 Nikki Gryphon
Xyns
No, I'm not ****
It's true, I'm not the coolest
But when it comes to love
I'll treat you the best
Words can not describe
When I look into your eyes
Voice so soft and sweet
Makes me weak at the knees

Simply no other word
Whether said or heard
Brings joy and glee
Than the word "Haley"
 Sep 2014 Nikki Gryphon
Tark Wain
I don't believe in God
But I believe in faith

I don't believe in miracles
But I believe in hard work

I don't believe prayer works
But I believe prayer heals

I don't believe we need to give
But I believe we should

I do not believe in many things
But I believe in much more
 Sep 2014 Nikki Gryphon
Xyns
I cried.
It was only one tear, yes.
But it was there.

It was an ocean
And All 7 seas

And in that tear
Was our song

Our shared laughter

Our stolen kisses

Our endless embraces

Our climbing emotions

Our deep talks


It was the universe
And all galaxies involved

And in that tear
Was our secrets

Our whispers

Our commitment

Our curiosity

Our closeness

Our honesty


It was a world war
And every battle

And in that tear
Was our fights

Our lies

Our words

Our disgust

Our bombs and blows

Our relationship


I cried.
It was only one tear, yes.
But it was us.

And it slipped away
As though it were our love.
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