I am not in the business of
Listening to lies
Which is why I hardly hear
When you say "I love you"
Love is the most overused word
In the english language
"I love this song!"
"I love this book!"
"I love that movie!"
"I love you."
It's become an impulse,
A reflex
Spoken in a monotone voice
Because I'm expected to
And every time we exchange those words
It feels like a transaction to me
When the words slip from your mouth
They feel clumsy and awkward
With no passion and not a hint of truth
Everyone tells me you don't mean those things
That you yell at me
That you say things without thinking
But just because you speak without a filter
Doesn't mean it's not true
If anger and abuse is the only kind of love
You have to offer
Then I don't ******* want it
You can keep your double standards
And your lies
I thought a mother
Was supposed to have
An agape kind of love
Not make their daughters
Feel like burdens
For even being alive
You've classically conditioned me
To not believe a word anyone says
I've had hope far too many times
And whenever you tell me you love me
And I fail to reply
You'll start yelling yet again
But you don't understand,
That unlike you,
I am not in the business of
Telling people lies

You looked at me
Like you loved me
Like I was special
Held my hand tight
Made love to me
Hugged me
Told me how
Important
Those hugs were
How they made you
Feel good
You adventured
Somewhere new with me
You kissed my neck
And told me
That you loved me
You were here
With me,
Mine
Just yesterday
And today your gone
Leaving me
And it feels like my heart
Is bleeding
And as though its cut open
You were everything yesterday
And everything today
But I wasnt anything
Not today
Maybe not yesterday either.

Water color painting of her mindscape
visualized by an artist of repute
and its map, though not drawn on a scale
yet shows the topography and neighborhood,
gives a concrete idea to plan the conquest.

A route map to her heart, meticulously prepared
marking all shortcuts and blockages of passages,
that may lead to confusion and mix up
is an essential tool now at hand

A modern day marauder is just that
he has no time for sentiments of a pusillanimous lover
sentiments are bothersome,  portend troubles in store
if logistics are right, plan is great, any peak will stoop,

But yes, the moon they say plays havoc,
love poems that knead the hearts, songs and music
too, if comes between, the project may go bonkers
the problem here is the reign of unpredictability
when love starts its gallop and emotions the other horses
just follow without rules  whatsoever,
isn't it unwise trying to stop a dam breach?
Not even the dam breach software be of any help here,
no study is yet available on dissipating such passion,
dynamics of love is an unknown country altogether
no intelligence available is effective to move
against it and make the conquest certainly possible.

can't sleep,
tried to count sheep,
but the little buggers won't jump the fence.

can't sleep,
tried counting sheep,
but the pesky little critters, are to busy eating,
to jump the fence.

can't sleep,
busy trying to count sheep but the little f^ckers won't stay still.

can't sleep,
feel like i might have mentioned this before, counting sheep is a feckless chore,
but one i must try once more,
either that... or..
eat the leftover
curried lamb pie.