I awake
Expecting you there,
I lie awake
The scent of you
Lingers in the air,
Like a crow in my mind
A squawk of thoughts
That rewind and replay
Every single detail,
Every inch
That I've traversed
Where every fiber met
My fingers
A phantom touch
Like memory foam
Of my skin,
The contact ebbs
The flow of your body
Almost etched
Into my very soul,
Oh how can I sleep
Where an angel has been...

APAD2020 - 001

Sometimes it all takes me back
To the 1st times
When it all began,
The originals
Steady and true
Never thought it could change
That it would
Go any other way
But here we are
Another day
Another direction
I feel like I'm an astronaut
I couldn't be further
From you
As we almost graze
Each other
Mere millimeters,
And it stokes
The fires
Raging within
What wouldn't I
Set ablaze
To be warmed
Into you,
Meld and entwine
And unite
But we always
Untie
Even more,
This backwards love
That leads me
Still here
Ever for
Loving
Unto you...

-okpoet

Can't remember
The last time
Anyone inquired
How am I?
The days have blended
A smooth seamless
Desert of time,
Endless grains
Of minutes
Stacked high
As far as anyone can see,
It just dawned on me
How parched I am,
But not for water
Just a small oasis
Of me, for me,
For I am without
A sense of self
Where am I going?
Where have I been?
I wish to soar
But I'm sunk
Have to dig
Myself out,
Before I forget
Again...

-okpoet

Some say
They love
With all their heart,
But the brain
Is what thinks
Those thoughts,
The mouth talks
And kisses,
The hands touch
And caress,
The nose itches
And smells,
The eyes see
And take in the view,
The ears wax poetic
And listen,
The body moves
And bends at will,
All the senses
Share in what the mind wants,
And so I say
I love you
With my whole being,
Every fiber and atom
Of this universe
That flows
Through me
Simply
In adoration
Of you...

-okpoet

I don't want to run out of love
But you drain me and I can't come back
The same
Everyday a little less brighter
I'm a fighter
But I don't know
What I'm fighting for
Anymore
I sleep empty
Every meal I'm less full
I still wake hungry
But I find no satiety,
You didn't ask me
What I'd do for you
But I've done everything I can
And yet you've made me doubt
That the best I could do
Wasn't good enough
And though I try
To not give up,
I feel I can't keep going
Mr Tik-Tok,
But no Dorothy
To wind me up again...

I've disconnected
Put another dollar in
Because I'm going to keep going
Though it's all wifi
Remote login
Not all in
Drone fighter
Roll pitch and yaw
Death wobble mid flight
To your heart
Down and out
In the darkness
Morse that no one sees
Can't read the code
Between squiggly lines
Overlapping the message
With no return address
And overdue postage
Undeliverable,
Christmas letters
Without an answer
To wishes no longer needed...

My cookie crumbles
No heart or ice cream
Can cure
My emotions
Melting
Pooled around
Her thoughts
Shattered bits
Like rotten teeth
Falling out of me
Can't put them back in without
Blood and sinew
Ever straight again,
Gnawing dreams
Turned flailing hopes
That pray for solvency
In the midst of storms
That rain
On all parades
Gay or narrow
Straight to the core,
A nougat of fraught angst...