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 Nov 2016 Neha shimoga
Matt
Today it was
"Have a really nice day"

Shut up!

Or I am going to lose it

I hate this home

Tired of these people
Worn out
Dollar bills they aren't flashing
But I'm grinding into the underground
Joy, elation tough maintain
Got some respect
But not quiet enough
I'm hard to please
Hard to linger in the precipice
Of never stopping
But no set routine.

My baby
He's a honey bear
He's always on the edge of his seat
With work
With me
We keep him moving
Living so quickly
Music slows me to drink up
A cinematic gratitude
I otherwise might chalk up as
A hardship too.

I got everything though
Don't I?
Don't I

I almost sat with my bare bottom
On a pile of glass
Traffic flows the worst
At the 6pm hour
Back hurts from carrying the weight
Of it all

But with every slight
There's an article a meme
Created to juxtapose
Our strife.

I see man
Don't get high little gypsy woman
When you can't relax and gotta tip tap
You're still so new

I look more and more like
A CEO
As each day passes
And I contemplate
Auditioning, submitting
And the thought
Exhausts me.

This time last year
My sleep deprivation
Was a different embraced entity
I did everything I could
To party and **** the pain away
And now there's no turning away.

The eyes and faces that greet me
They all work with me
And sometimes
It's absolutely grueling.


I got my boots on
It's clearly so time for a break
But this is just the beginning of the week
Sleep sleep sleep
It becomes so clear my apartment is just meant for one
After several days time
It's okay baby
Let's get dinner after
Like you suggested
And be at our best.

But my god
It's a trying time.
 Nov 2016 Neha shimoga
Graff1980
Someone whispers to him “calm your heart,” but the crimson streaked flesh that beats soft wet palpitations hastens his impatience to face what’s coming. He has no armor or weapon only the determination to do what is right.
      Four chambers are thudding like the boots a coming. Men in black garbs marching with fully loaded chambers, clear plastic shields up, and black sticks ready to bludgeon. Their anger is oppositional to their opponent’s fog of fear, fatigue, and determination.

“Breath my child,” a gentle voice says. A sharp pain pierces on the back of his head. A thin line begins to ride down his neck. Someone yells “get down!”
One row of men raise their hands, eyes turned upward. The soft voice in his head says” be strong.”
Billows of grey smoke spew from a black canister. Strangers and familiars choke and gasp, eyes watering. Dreams of a bygone era play out in his mind. A tall thin brown sweaty woman smiles, moving down the road while singing we shall overcome. Dogs snap viscously at her compatriots. A fire pushes her siblings back with skin scraping pressure. A few of them fall, and couple falter in the struggle but most keep marching. Her brother, who is tall slightly bulky but wears the well-earned muscles of a man who labored hard all his life, clenches his fists, preparing to strike. She pulls him back. “Be strong, and gentle baby brother.”

They continue to sing “We shall overcome.”

       In his mind the young man sees his mother smiling, saying “"Be calm, saith my heart. I am a warrior. I have seen far worse than this." He smiles through the pain stands up and chants “Hands up don’t shoot. Hands up don’t shoot.” Another brother rises behind him yelling “Black lives matter. Black lives matter.” A thin nerdy pale white guy cries we shall overcome, not in a singing tone, but it still rings beautifully. The struggle continues.
Naughty Nice

*Her skin glows like the Grapes,
My yearning heart rises to your piano voice
and leaps like a dog at the whisper of your name,
Annie, my naughty Nice.

The evening ascends in on a great sparrow wing.
I am calmed by her tight fitted Blue Jeans
that  image I will carry into the twilight of the Rommel beams,
which hold next to my legs.

I am filled with hope that I may dry her tears of fear
As my arms falls from her blouse,
it reminds me of our secret house.

In the hushed, I listen for the last chain of the spring.
My heated face leaps to her summer dress.
I wait in the crystal moonlight in our secret place,
so that we may jump as one, face to face,
in search of the glorious yellow and spiritual glass of love
 Nov 2016 Neha shimoga
Matt
Untitled
 Nov 2016 Neha shimoga
Matt
All around me are
Worn out faces

Same old places

Nothing is changing at all

On the internet
I meet wonderful people

But they are so far away

And I wonder
Am I slowly dying
Slowly dying
Slowly dying each day

And I'm alone
So alone
And I don't care

Do not care
Anymore at all

To my old therapist
I really hate you
Really hate you

Bleh

What a stupid whiner I am
Whine, don't whine
It doesn't matter

It's a big world
That swallows me whole

I'm out there somewhere
Alone
How can I tell you
What I'm going through
How my life's been flipped
When your face came into view

How can I tell you
What's wrong with me today
Why I'm acting cold
When it's you who made me this way

How can I tell you
That you're the only one I want
Even though you hurt me
Made me feel empty gaunt

How can I tell you
I forgive you of this
I know we got close too fast
But I sure miss your kiss

How can I tell you
I wish I knew how
I guess I'll just write it
Maybe you'll see this and want the same too
He made me feel betrayed but I still want him. I can't help but get burned...
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