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 Nov 2019 ayb
rose
Smoking
 Nov 2019 ayb
rose
I lit my cigarette with a candle
And I kept on smoking
Didn’t mean to
I was thinking to much
Just thinking
 Sep 2018 ayb
rose
...
 Sep 2018 ayb
rose
...
I had coffee and a cigarette for breakfast
So yeah I'm doing fine
I've become good at taking weight off of other peoples shoulders
and
Searching for happiness in everything
:)
 Jul 2017 ayb
moondust
you're not doing well
with skin like bed sheets
ebbing tides in your forehead
and the malady that keeps your mind guessing,

these next six nights
of not having to feel
so alone will make you
fall back into sleep
to grow roots.

i'll cut holes in the ozone
to put your heartache in

i'll walk you to the hospital,
i'll wait in a white room,
place your sad eyes in my drawers
until my hand breaks

the universe is twice as big as we think it is
and 'you are so important to me'
is easier to digest than
skipping heart beats

i miss you like a dart hits the iris of a bullseye,
or a train ticket screams 4:30 at 4:47,
and
i've fallen in love

you're the only one that made that idea
less devastating.
cut-out poetry i made for a project back in november 2016. i used lucas regazzi's poems called small and bedside table.

EDIT 170829: none of the lines used here are mine!! they're all taken from the poems mentioned above :)
 Sep 2016 ayb
Summer
sally
 Sep 2016 ayb
Summer
Sally takes a lot of pills
So she'll have something to write songs about
I wonder if she's doing okay
She took a lot of ****** yesterday.
She takes them just to feel
Because her antidepressants don't do enough
She swears one day she'll be famous
And it isn't because of the drugs
Emptier than the space between our fingetips
sally feels pure as she floats up to her ceiling.
Zoloft, Xanax, adderrall
Make for good lines and good stories
She knows without them she'd be like all the other girls
she falls in love with boys she meets on the Internet every week
hoping they’ll fill whatever has been missing
she can't communicate with them for long
and gets bored
their bodies don’t make her feel as holy
as the pills
no floating up to the ceiling.
she finds another one who will pop molly with her all day long
and watch her slender body fade into the sheets
sally loves pills and nothing more
the boys just make the images in her head seem clearer almost
She knows they won't last long
Sally just wants more pills
the streets full of people don't scare her
And the space between us is growing
Like the pit of her stomach
Because it's pill after pill after pill
And one doesn't do enough anymore
sally likes fading away
surrounded by her blonde hair
her body being somewhere else
she feels less empty that way.
No one understands sally
not even herself
She hasn’t told anyone she’s loved them and meant it
it doesn’t scare her anymore.
because when she fades away
nobody worries anymore.
Sally pushed out the boy with the twilight smile,
took six 2 mgs of klonopin and a whole lot of vidocin
And sally invited sadness into her bed, instead.
and let it **** her
all
night
long
she didn't make much sound
just a small whimper
And then her mind went quiet
and Sally left just how she felt.
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