I don't know what it is,
and that is precisely the reason why I am living...

Sense the grandeur of your power
As you disrupt one life after another...

My head is full of thoughts
My head won't stop thinking
I wish I could write them down
I wish I could stop swinging
Between a letter and a sound
Between eternity and time
I wish I could wander
Instead of just wondering
about a he and a them
about a who and a how
I wish I could talk
I wish I could write
But my head is full of thoughts
My head won't stop thinking

sadness
it surrounds me
darkness
it follows me
uneasiness
tries to consume me
the fight is tough
the urge to give in is strong,
easier
but
strength builds character
certainty produces confidence
this war can be won
the crusade towards happiness
is closer than once
imagined

A longing for errands is bursting from my veins
My blood is leaking out
My body is rotting in this place
Life has left me for another world
Everything inside of me is tired already
And words do not make sense anymore
Between a day and a night
My handwriting changed
And in the blink of an eye
I no longer am
Everything is split into two
And language is no more
Something holding me to this world

Bound.
For hell,
Oh life is swell,
ain't it?
piece of art, tainted.
Convos with Satan,
Can you feel the cadence?.

Can you smell the melody?
Can you touch the tunes?
Can you taste the frequency, grab you some silver spoons.
Grab you a piece of advice, from the man on the moon.
Falling under the depths, ill have to handle it soon,.

Convos with Lucifer,
Lord of the Flies..
How'd he get my number?
probably family ties..
probably hearing the cries,
probably feeling surprised,
The light within me, forever will shine.

But for tonight,
i converse with The Anti-Christ..
Actually giving me some mad advice.

he said,
"I advise you, don't you ever find bliss..
If one day you do, you'll forever be ******.
Instead, stay in this chaos and revel,
Truthfully your bliss might become your hell."

How can you ask for sunshine if its always sunny?
How can you laugh at something if its always funny?
.......
suddenly i realized the ******* was right.
Only if hell bound, do you realize that heavens in sight.


-afj