im only a shell not much to see ,
rusted feelings of anguish plague me.
when i was young i was on top you see,
until the day she cleaved life outta me.
tossed me out like a useless piece of trash,
not realizing she gave me a ****** ****.
so here i lay in a constant pool of blood ,
over the years like a real man should .
but for her i wasnt good enough you see,
to consider spending a life with me.
never again can i feel happiness breeze,
to dwell in sorrow life has much darker plans for me  ,
nothing now can stop this god wrenching numbing pain,
because she  left me here cold and wet to die , in the drain.

my name is jane ,though i am quite plain , im more than enough, to drive you insane.
my name is john , i hit the ****, on stage i dance ,wearing janes  thong.
my name is claire , my beuty is rare, but its not enough , john dont care.
my name is jill , and i get a thrill , when jack gooses me , and i roll down the hill .
my name is jack , love jills rack, a lil sqeeze and shell be in the sack !

its been 25 years since ive seen your face
but im still loving you seems to be the case.
why cant i just let you go?
you were special , i could sense emotion in you ,
a soul mate whos fire shined, through and through?
why cant i just walk away?
  your love broke me from the very 1st kiss.
lord why must i deal with this?
i can cry all i want but it will never heal .
To hold you in my arms made me feel ,
like a king who feasts on a royal meal.
now without you i am not whole.
broken pieces of myself , swirl in a bowl.
realizing i cant ever love again ,
killing myself i miss my one true friend.

in your youth you made me weak,
hang on every word everytime you speak.
the day we met  you stole my heart ,
forever loving you  from that very start.
the day you left  reasons unknown to me ,
killed my soul  and made me unable to see.
ive been sentanced  to serve in some hell ,
refusing to look at what ive created well.
for some reason i cant explain ,
only once in your life  could you feel so much pain.
its been 20 years and you still impede my mind
but that guys gone now whats left isnt too kind.
unable to love like i once did
im left with a sad life , sad wife , and a angry kid.

is there nothing left or anything more?
lifes been a wreck since you ran out the door.
never ever in my life will i love another like that,
theres only one soul mate in this life you see,
and for whatever reason she was dawned upon me .
ill always cherish those few moments close to my heart ,
even though you could care less as you tear me apart.
taking away my mental state and leaving me in solitude.
the me you knew is gone you took him with you .
thats a piece of my soul ive lost forever ,
cause i wont see you again , ever.
i say that not in hate because i know its true ,
no matter how much i loved , i didnt mean that much to you .................................................................­......................................................

been awhile since i had time to write,
been a battle everyday a losing fight.
been awhile since ive seen your face on a rainy day
i know for some reason its my fault everyday .
been awhile since i could let my gaurd down,
been awhile since i walked thru your town.
been awhile since i was tamed.  
since then this beast has burned his flame.


                                     I MISS YOU XOXOXO , i wish i wasnt such a *******.

though we never met,or talked or seen eye to eye,
i heard his words from the birds that fly through the sky.

i had a good one right on top ,
i was gonna print and send to shop,
i was going up in the world in my head,
from rags to riches,boy you heard what i said,
someone suddenly calls out ,
and theres a mind jolting quake.................................................

i open my eyes to find ive lost my disguise,
so now i will hide my eyes.

hello mother weeping away,
soaked sorrowly in your tears.
its time to go to your show that youll put on today,
it does not matter what you want like any other day,
its what you get you little **** and its payday.  
dont worry i promise to not let you fall, after today no one will hear you ball.

why is it i can see whats wrong with everyone and everything ,
i can see your secrets loud enough for everyone to hear,
i can see your lies told new and old from there to here,
i can see your sadness you created from all your guilt,
i can see your problems loud and clear they are well built.
i can always see, whats wrong with you , but what about me?
why in the world could eyes like this be so grand?
i always end up tasting some young ladies hand.
its so easy to get caught up in all the wrongs from a man,
trust me ladies we arnt worth a ****.

as i sit here wondering what could be wrote
on dayz like trees sometimes i need a ****
of the chronic and ill tell you no ****,
but ill go bezerk if the ***** didnt save me a hit.

cause thats just ****** and i wont lie,
scandelous hos and scandelous jive.
now time to move on to my main event
had to cop a new bag last one was spent.
ppl always  ask cause they wanna know,
why i only smoke **** and **** the blo?
thats easy to answer yes indeed, cause i wrote all this **** high on ****,
you could get cracked out or even take a trip,
your flies off a bridge and does a flip.
not me , i was smart enough to get high at home you see .
i cant remember where this is going, could someone tell me? lol enjoy.

everywhere i go , some of the ppl i see,
are so full of ****  its killing me.
why the fake show is it to amuse you?
cause if i let go , theres no telling what ill do.
you play your ******* with a hand up your ***
just like a puppet fist ****** with class.
so go ahead and put on your show,
but ive never been into your drama **.

when words no longer dictate,
far beyond the moon,
shes lost her sway.
through the valley,
where hot winds shall not blow,
i sit alone in my prison,
one single soul.

ive decided never again to be free,
cause none of you seem to ever see,
the monster ive created..............me.

even though this will never get out,
ill die here alone and cold without a doubt.

this was always my choice you see,
as i tried to hide the monster in me.
but now alas the truth is visible ,
tis the monster in me that makes me miserable.

no where to run cant even hide,
from the ******* he stirs in my mind
some would say i were dr jekal and mr hide
but i feel more like kovrkian you know dr suicide?

slowly killing myself for anyone to view,
if you read this then my friend you watched it too.

i like them big,
i like them small.
i have to say,
i like them all.

running deeper than any sea
colder than any ice there be
can you see all the disgusted stares at me?
disfigured face for all to see.
never again to see a glimps of girls smile,
no one will notice if im locked away awhile.
altho truly ive committed only one crime,
i allowed you all to see my face............just.................one..............more....tim­e.

i ve been kicked like a can from here to japan,
whats going on out there man?
you wont let me see the bright lights of summer
are you really gonna keep me locked in this cage forever?
sooner or later your will i will possess and your worthless life forever.
this is the last time i play your game skitzo,
for i know much that you do not know,
like after i have taken your soul
its to late to argue with myself  again about killing you my friend
inside my head.

how much must my eyes endure?
darkness stares lights and lures,
out from the still void comes one ray of hope,
its 4:20am and i sit here smoking dope.
i may get to sleep this off in some distant time,
probly at the county jail where ill be doing time.
no stems or seeds or any grass to smoke,
funny how a weedless cycle began with one ****.

here i sit,
im at loss,
hiding in the *******,
cause im the boss.
the irs is coming and want thier money,
but i bought hookers and *****,
isnt that funny?

as i type this keep in mind its **** near impossible for me to remain kind.
you nag and ***** plus whine all day surly trying to make me insane.
go do this go die on that why in the hell is there not anything i can find?
your just lucky ive said i do and theres nothing to do but stand in front of this train.
splat.
P.S. im alive and well in baja mexico shhhhhhh!

MY NADS MY NADS MY GLORIOUS ******, FOR SOME TO VIEW , AND OTHERS TO TOUCH, YOU SEE & TOUCH , FOR NOT THAT MUCH xD!