This is sick, all of it, grotesquely sickening.
This co-dependent, flesh-consuming, parasitic “relationship” is what we crave.
We’re ravenous beasts, that’s just who we are.
We hurt each other past the point of forgiveness.
The things you’ve yelled at me in a passionate, heated rage, undoubtedly, unforgivable.
The things I’ve done to you in my periods of momentary psychosis, unspeakably, unforgivable.
This is clearly and painfully sickening.
I can’t help but ask myself, “Why do I stay in this volatile battlefield, we’ve mistakenly called a normal relationship?”
But even more confusing, why do you stay if you hate me?
Nothing seems normal anymore.
It’s demented, but I love being your obscurity.
And I know you love being my parasite.
It’s all so sick, but we both know we love and need this.

I saw you again
And it brought back all the fear
One shot, two shot
Three beer, four beer
You drank until you were unbearable to be near
With each passing drink
Your intentions were clear
You were consumed by your disease
You'd touch me however you'd please
My blood-curdling screams and pleas became white noise
There was no disputing with you
"Boys will be boys"
You used your disease as a pass to do what you'd want
The sight of your liquor filled me with daunt
The actions of your disease will always seem to haunt.

I spend every moment replaying the abuse I endured
And every second I prayed my soul would be cured
I'm wishing that someone would listen
That my screams may be heard
It seems like hoping for a hero is far fetched
It's absurd
It feels like my plans to get to the surface will be impeded and deferred
It feels like the mental abuse is lifetime insured
I try to escape from my memories but I'm trapped by the blows that occurred
I wish my mind could delete it's memory
So I can see the finish line
So I can see my victory.

He captured my mind and there was no going back
He had me locked in with his seductive words
He fed me all the lies I needed to hear to commit myself to him for eternity
He put on his glasses and I saw the world he wanted me to see
He translated life to me with his own insidious interpretation
He fed me the empty promises that we’re sure to have me craving for more
I wasn’t my own person
With my own thoughts
Sight
Hearing
Taste
I was his
I belonged to him
He owned me
My thoughts were his
My words were his
My actions were his
My vision was his
I was his
I was captured and there was no way out
Other than killing myself
I thought about that
But I couldn’t go through with it
He continued to capture me
I was caught
I was stuck
I was in his world
And he ruled what went on in his universe
I had no say
That fateful day we locked eyes sealed my fate for eternity.

You stole the show
With each devastating
Each crippling
Each show stopping blow
You wanted me gone
You wanted me eradicated
Each day you left my body broken
Dilapidated
I screamed for help but there was no use
No one could save me from your infernal abuse
You loved to watch me bleed
You had an insatiable appetite you had to feed
You sunk your teeth into me until your teeth met
You're the sinister ghoul I dread to have ever met.

You threw me against the wall
As your hands danced around my neck
This wasn't the first time
And it would be the last
My airways constricted
Not sure how long I will last
Losing consciousness fast
Vision getting blurred
Words absolutely slurred
You won't let me die so you can do it again
Of that you have assured
Day after day
Night after night
Heart full of dismay
Lungs full of fright
My mind's gone dark
Nothing is bright
Those dancing hands controlled my life
And those dancing hands eventually took my life.

The walls were closing in
You threw your hands where they never should have been
Your presence brought nothing good only sin
You wanted to make sure that I loss
And only you would win
You let the voices control from within
You craved the taste of my supple skin
The line between dangerous and devastating was increasingly thin
You need not a cue for the abuse to begin
You found my screams beautiful like a violin
The blood dripping incited your grin
You relied on my agony like a devious underpin
The bruises on my body were a token of your appreciation
They debuted on my body when I opposed the operation
When I refused the organization
You spoke without communication
You gave endless "love" with sinister interpretation
You lazer focused your blows with great precision
You concentrated your cuts with careful incision
The wicked whispers clouded your vision
Your "love" crashed into me like a disastrous collision.