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Apr 2021 · 118
evil
nabilah Apr 2021
she tried to stop her wild thoughts
that kept shouting inside her head
endlessly
she believes those was the evil whispers
she tried so hard to shut them up
evertime
but they were too strong
as if they were unstoppable
she's that kind of nearly perfect woman
we always knew
she's smart,
classy
with an
attitude,
also her skin is
like
a
glass
there is only one thing she missed;
she didn't know that
she is
the evil
she always talked about.
Jan 2021 · 586
🤍
nabilah Jan 2021
I said “I’m so lucky to have you”,
He replied “Baby I’m so blessed to have you”
Jan 2021 · 154
Less enchanting
nabilah Jan 2021
One day, he took me to a place
It was such an enchanting place
And so I fell in love with that place ever since he brought me.

When he had to leave the town,
I decided to go to that place by myself,
but the place isn’t as beautiful as it was
And then I realized it’s not about the place
Yet it’s about the person that makes every spot in the room becoming more pleasant
Dec 2020 · 93
yesterday's
nabilah Dec 2020
remembering all of the stupid things I've done back then
I was so young, I kinda lost my mind
still I didn't regret any of it,
because somehow,
that young stupid little girl helped this woman
to became a tough and powerful
kind of woman
Dec 2020 · 81
new journey
nabilah Dec 2020
Starting on this day I promise to leave all of my past behind and focusing only on what's in front of me. Because I knew God has something bigger than all of my cancelled plans, He planned it perfectly and I believe that beautiful bright day will come and these sadness shall be pass. Amen
Jul 2020 · 157
Mati
nabilah Jul 2020
Mati sudah hati dan segenap perasaanku kau bunuh
Mati semua pengharapanku kau regas
Mati rupa dan baikmu dalam ingatanku kau rampas habis
Lalu dengan mudah kau bilang maaf
Sertamerta lantang kau bersumpah serapah mampu menghidupkan yg mati
Tidak.
Kau bukan Tuhan, kau bajingan
Biar aku yg bersaksi bahwa kau pantas dikubur sedalam-dalamnya sebisa semauku
Mati, mati
Kau buat kamu menjadi mati.
Jun 2020 · 169
-
nabilah Jun 2020
-
Dia habiskan beberapa malam untuk menangis
Sendiri ditemani kesedihannya yang tak mau pergi
Mengutuk diri karena lemah hati
Hangatnya hilang lantaran yang dirasa hanya dingin
Jatuh seribu kali, bangun seribu satu kali
Dia bantu dirinya sendiri untuk berdiri
Sudah tugasnya menjadi selalu terlihat gigih
Kesepian sudah menjadi teman baik
Hampa seakan sudah memiliki tempat khusus dalam diri
Tidak apa-apa menjadi lemah malam hari
Asal kembali tertawa besok pagi
Dan seterusnya begitu lagi
Tidak sabar menanti rasa yang akan mati
Feb 2020 · 91
-
nabilah Feb 2020
-
masih aku ingat hari-hari dimana belum berisikan akan engkau
sebagaimana tiap harinya yang terasa hanya parau
belum lagi hatiku yang sesak lantaran banyak dibuat sendu
sampai pada suatu pagi sekitar jam sepuluh,
dapat aku lihat kau datangi aku dari jauh
kau jabat tanganku, kau sebutkan namamu
selalu aku kagumi cara Tuhan membuat yang jauh menjadi satu
dan hanya jika kau berkenan, boleh aku titipkan segenap hati, cinta, serta pengharapanku?
lalu sama-sama kita bangun cinta itu, kita jaga dan kita pupuk
kita pelihara supaya jangan dicabut Tuhan kembali
Dec 2019 · 234
Sudah
nabilah Dec 2019
Mana pernah kau paham tentang perasaanku walau berulang kali sudah kusampaikan. Sekedar mendengar saja tidak. Sudah tau begitu, masih pula aku menaruh pengharapan yang besarnya melebih-lebihi besar nafsu makanku. Kasihan ya melihat naifku ini. Memaksakan sesuatu yang sudah mati.
Aku ini kadang ingin terbahak karena lucunya kisah kamu dan aku, tapi anehnya masih selalu membuatku terpana, seperti terhipnots. Kepalaku yang sekeras batu dan hatiku yang serapuh kulit telur disanding dengan kepalamu yang pula berisikan batu, juga hatimu yang sedingin kutub utara sebelum global warming. Aku dan diriku, dan kamu dengan dirimu. Memang benar mungkin, kita hanya ditemukan untuk saling belajar, bukan untuk berakhir bersatu.
Sebenar-benarnya, kamu adalah yang aku mau. Tapi rasanya permintaanku ini terlalu bertele-tele jika yang ku minta adalah kamu dan tidak ada luka. Karena memilih bersamamu akan selalu satu paket dengan luka dan perih. Aku saja yang sombongnya setengah mati, menutup mata dari ratusan pertanda yang Tuhan berikan.
Jul 2019 · 166
foolish
nabilah Jul 2019
i can feel that you are
starting to fade away
i don’t blame you
because perhaps it is me
perhaps it’s my fault
to let you in all by choice,
giving you a strength to breaking my heart
trust me, even i warned myself thousand times
i thought you’re not like any other guy
but it seem like i thought wrong
Jul 2019 · 231
it’s okay
nabilah Jul 2019
i understand if
you’re leaving
surprisingly,
it’s not surprise me anymore
someone whose stay does.
Jul 2019 · 191
Biasa
nabilah Jul 2019
Seakan terbiasa sudah aku ditinggalkan
Pun kau yg kuanggap sebagai selamanya tempat bersandar kini pergi jua
Inginku menahan tuan untuk tinggal sedikit lebih lama
Namun tidak sampai hati memberatkan jalanmu
Lagipula apalagi gunaku bagimu?
Tidak perlu bertanya kabar atau sekedar memikirkan, aku terluka tapi aku tidak mengapa
Kan sudah ku bilang,
Aku sudah terbiasa.
Jul 2019 · 468
solitude (II)
nabilah Jul 2019
she's more likely to stay in her narrow place,
accompanied only by the sun at the day
and moon at night
one day i heard she swore herself, she said;
'solitude is a best friend of mine'
she set herself as a closed-book to everything but herself
Jul 2019 · 337
you, my poet
nabilah Jul 2019
and in a second
he became every
poetry that lives
in my mind
ps; i smiled when i wrote this
Jul 2019 · 120
manifestation of u
nabilah Jul 2019
i like it when the sun touched my skin
i bet it felt as warm as your touch

i like it how the lighter burnt my finger
just like your smile burning my soul
swear i could die happy by seeing those

i like it when the cold freeze my blood
as you always freeze my heartbeat
every time you tell me i'm beautiful

i like it how the moon changing its shape every night
reminds me of day by day been passed,
getting closer to the day
when we
finally met.
i missed u
Jul 2019 · 446
solitude
nabilah Jul 2019
i think it is normal
when a seven years old girl asking her parents
to make her very her own bedroom,
called her selfish, she doesn't care.

i think nothing is wrong
when someone refuse to go out
just because she want to stay in her bedroom tonight
called her lame, whatever.

i think two days straight
is not too long for not talk to anyone
called her a loner, she don't mind.

i think, perhaps some people were
designed to be alone
and that's
fine.
Jul 2019 · 618
for you, my person
nabilah Jul 2019
thank you
for seeing the shining stars within my soul
when all i can see is
flaws,
scars,
and darkness,
thank you
Jul 2019 · 146
guiltiness
nabilah Jul 2019
have you ever
hurt someone
you love
and
it hurts you too?
Jul 2019 · 134
time flies
nabilah Jul 2019
been thinking
about how’s life run so fast
realizing that running is kinda exhausting
we need to stop for awhile
yet afraid of being the one whose left behind
see how this world
control us so much?
Jun 2019 · 219
him
nabilah Jun 2019
him
been lost for so long
but then he came,
help me to find myself back
without any effort i bet

i pray,
he is not temporary
i beg,
he stays for a bit longer

cause i don't mind
being lost forever either
if it means he would stay forever too
Jun 2019 · 144
heavy thoughts of u
nabilah Jun 2019
it’s okay dear
i never said it was easy loving me as a whole
i’m a bit too much of a clinger
and i pretty much live inside my head,
also i can not seem to stop once i started to talk
and it’s a bit messy inside here
don’t you think?
and how was your sleep?
no, wait, that’s not what i was trying to say,
have you always looked like that?
i remember you with your smiles,
where’s all of that now that you know me better?
i don’t feel really well today but is the coffee okay?
do you know that the sky is beautiful tonight?
wait, i think it was raining.
do you love rain?
do you love me then?
p.s i only became so talkative when i'm with special ones
Jun 2019 · 396
dear you,
nabilah Jun 2019
you are far,
yet feels so close,
as close as
when i capture
your lips touch mine
in my head.

you left me wondering
with what kind of heroine
you gave me
make me a lil insane
but i love it.

i am clueless
dying to know what it feels like
to touch your skin.

kinda lost,
guess i'll see you soon then?
Jun 2019 · 181
love
nabilah Jun 2019
for my entire life,
I swear what we have now
is something
that I always want
you have no idea
how long I've been longing
for this kind of love,
your kind of love.
Jun 2019 · 458
hatred
nabilah Jun 2019
forgive me
i can't forgive you yet
i just don't know how to deal
with the pain you caused me
this hatred inside my head
consume me
really bad
don't get me wrong
i want to get over this too,
promise you i will figure it out soon.

— The End —