Before you I was never weak. Before you I was never alone. Before you I was never loveless. Before you I was never loved. Before you I had no purpose. Before you I had no need. Before you I had so little. Before you I never knew. Without you. Without — You. ... I just have no ******* idea how to carry on.
it's the same as before or the other time or the time before that. here's a **** and here's a **** and here's trouble.
only each time you think well now I've learned: I'll let her do that and I'll do this, I no longer want it all, just some comfort and some *** and only a minor love.
now I'm waiting again and the years run thin. I have my radio and the kitchen walls are yellow. I keep dumping bottles and listening for footsteps.
You loved me, Darkly. Speaking in silent tongues. Secrets For us alone. My stygian heart — Exhumed, Glorious in your rapture. In you I am burning. In you I understood. Without you. Lost, Wandering.
I have outlived suffering, I have endured pain. I have gently walked thru fire and rain. I have swallowed anger, I have eaten sin. I have bled and lost what lies within. I have surpassed doubt, I have suppressed blame. I have taken stock of what remains. I have absorbed sadness, I have taken loss. I have appraised the damage and paid the cost. I have been loveless, I have been true. I will never be beaten by you.
Today, is greater than my words Today, is smaller than my love Today, is sharper than my pain Today, is duller than my truth Today, is Everything Nothing Today, is undefined It is woe It is glory It is our genesis It is our end
Now mind is clear as a cloudless sky. Time then to make a home in wilderness.
What have I done but wander with my eyes in the trees? So I will build: wife, family, and seek for neighbors.
Or I perish of lonesomeness or want of food or lightning or the bear (must tame the hart and wear the bear).
And maybe make an image of my wandering, a little image—shrine by the roadside to signify to traveler that I live here in the wilderness awake and at home.