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Only thinking of you, nothing and nobody else
Alone at night, sitting, tired, on this couch
The skies are dark, and all is quiet, except for the typing of my keys
I’m staying up for you, beloved, because I know you’d do the same for me

My feet are getting cold, and if only you were here,
I’d be warm and not so lonely, and I’d whisper in your ear
Right before I fell asleep, my head against your shoulder
“I love you.” and I would no longer be growing colder

But for now, all alone in the living room
As silent, cold, and quiet as a tomb
I have only one thing on my mind, and it isn’t sleep; it’s you

Alone, at night
growing colder
Alone, at night
probably older
But the point is neither
Only that I’m thinking of you though alone, there are knives at
my heart, as well as my skull, trying to chip away bone
I can only think of you, not even going to sleep
And whisper to the air in the darkness, hoping you’re responding back to me

I’m going to stay up until the morning’s first light
And fall in love at first sight
Because you’ll be beside me on this makeshift bed, even though
it’s really all in my head

I can wish, can’t I?
And I most certainly can dream
but when the sunlight comes, you’ll turn to dust and I’ll run
from the room, because I’ll be alone and I’ll be missing you

All throughout the day, ninja stars will be shredding my heart
But when dark falls, I can talk to you again, whether you’re really here or not
or you’re simply my thought
And the cycle will repeat
And on this couch I’ll take a seat and I’ll be

Alone, at night
growing colder
Alone, at night
probably older
But the point is neither
Only that I’m thinking of you though alone, there are knives at
my heart, as well as my skull, trying to chip away bone
I can only think of you, not even going to sleep
And whisper to the air in the darkness, hoping you’re responding back to me

I’m going to stay up until the morning’s first light
And fall in love at first sight
Because you’ll be beside me on this makeshift bed, even though
it’s really all in my head
Emotions are one, that we can hide
Deep inside, there's always a fight
Between 'me' and 'myself'
For the emergence, outside

Emotions are, none other than
The expressions, of psychology
That flows for the whole time span
Continuously transforming, a (wo)man

Emotions are and aren't, good
Depends upon, exclusive you
Positivity, never always stood
Negativity, can be channelized for good


|AB|
A general description of "Emotions". Rhyme scheme for this structured poem is a a b a for first stanza and, a b a a for other two.
This Is How I Know.*

How I know
            I have finally lost this game.

But not only have I come to my end,
I have lost my way.

I have lost my strength
and my freedom.

Afraid,
          Perhaps
Of how this game not only changes the plot,
But also the player.
Here I am,
as one person.

As one being.

Expecting the world to change around me,
  Before I change myself.

I feel selfish,
  thinking that I would drop everything I know without hesitation
Just for a different place in the world.

because let's face it;

   I am just another player.
And this game we call life is so much bigger than me.
This poem was written long ago and is no longer true, I love who I am and wouldn't want anything to be changed. If you relate to this poem in any way, I am sure you will find your place in the world. It just takes time and a hell of a lot of effort.
There is a difference in the world.
The air is sharper,
The days are brighter.
My smiles are true,
And happiness seems to radiate off of me.

And life is easier to bare.

But there are still times.
Times were I lose myself.
I lose myself in the world I escaped.

I am lost in hell.


And I want more than anything to get out.

But I am slipping.
The strong hold I thought I had has failed me.
I have plunged into my fears.

And I desperately trying to re-surface.
Trying to take a breath of the fresh air.
Take in the colors of the world I was forced out of.
  The world I long to return to.

I find myself frantically searching for a way out,
Searching for the hand that will reach in and rescue me.

I run.
I scream.
I cut and yell and KICK


But I am lost,
I am stuck.

And in those times I feel like I am dying.
I feel like I cannot trust life and the obstacles that are thrown at me.

So I sink.

And I hope,
that somewhere out there, a miracle will find me.

And save me.
We were talking about me getting a car.
A shiny new piece of metal on wheels
Or a clunk
clunk
clunk
clunker that carries my weight
and take me far
far
far
far
away.

But then life got in the way.
And there was a knock
knock
knock
knock
on the door.
And it was answered.
and words were said.

and I fell to pieces
by the weight
of
those
words.
I used to think that things got better before they got worse.
That dreams were drempt and it took so
so
so
so
long to make it to the bottom
of all bottoms.

That it was a gradual fall that took time,
so many
ticks
of a
clock.

And
beats
of a
heart.

But I seem to just now be learning
how impossible
it is
to stay afloat
in the raging rivers
that constantly beat me down,
called life.
This poem is me trying out a new writing style, inspired by my favorite author Tehereh Mafi.
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