i'm not the rebound
when your conversation goes slow
my reply will satisfy you
the first time
but when my loneliness
becomes six messages in a row
each one more excited after the other
your vision starts to deteriorate
and you become blind to this gaping hole
on the verge of becoming a cavity
an auditorium sits in my mind
i listen to myself
go on and on about useless information
you once wanted to hear
the late night shows were always popular
to people who didn't listen
but rather wanted a night out
and the applause was customary
but you never felt the ambience
a thousand words gave off
as i sit at my desk
and transfer these thoughts into magic
six messages become one word
lonely
writing is hard, i keep deleting my thoughts
on paper i am limitless
conversation flows fast
and i am proud to message myself six times
and get six responses of the same excitement
the magic helps me see better
i love the auditorium that is my mind
the night shows are so popular
i took time to listen to myself
and clap for everything i am saying
because i give myself the chills
using words from seemingly useless information
lonely became lovely
and suddenly i was whole again
lonely stopped looming
and lovely was the name i gave myself
so when your conversation goes slow
and i stop messaging you
i am in my own auditorium
giving myself the attention and love
you forgot existed

sometimes i wish you had left.
much cleaner and more efficient

i don't need endless miles
of jagged cuts
and the flames of your tongue
licking them open.

i wish i had
the comfort of an imaginary father
so i could pretend he wasn't who you are now.

you're here, i suppose
and there's no denying that.

rest, girl
rest, mother
rest, red disco queen

rest, white willow singing
rest, wind chimes
rest, redbone dog

rest, black sky
rest, yellow moon
rest, opaque stars

rest, *** on stovetop
rest, toes cracking
rest, boy typing

rest, sister
rest, child
rest, soul

rest

the sun machine
is coming down

rest

the children are
watching fire

rest

the thunder is born
with the night

rest

you too will know me,
sister
you will catch my wind
it smells of

tea tree oil