And so we reach that time again-
the eve of an election.
The world holds its breath
for better or worse
as we turn another
page in the books
of history.

One more quadrennial,
one more election.
One more dawn,
one more day.
One day more and
we turn a page and enter
one more chapter of history.

It doesn't take long
to memorize someone
but it can take a lifetime
to forget the memories,
the pain and the
heartache.

Rain of shine,
the solitude stays the same.
Wherever I go and
whoever I'm with.

When was the last
time I felt like myself?
Maybe when I was young
all those years ago.
But those memories are
as distant to the present
as I am to myself now.

You got used to the
shadows and solitude
where you always felt
most at home.

Sometimes I need my solitude
when the battery gets low,
when the voices are too loud
and when I feel the weight
of the world upon my shoulders.
We all have our ways of recharging
whether it be in shadows
or in light.

One step forward,
two steps back.
Reality is a tough place to live-
it is also a tough
place to leave.

Sometimes,
between this distance,
darkness and silence,
your voice will break through
and sing away the sorrows and shadows-
a reminder that we are never
truly alone.

I am still in awe of the colours
you have painted into my life and
the magic you weave into this world.
To be of the same blood is an honor
I will never take for granted and
to be the one of the same soul
is something I will always cherish.
Thank you for giving me the
hope and strength to keep going
in a world that would be so
cold and bleak without you.

Grief may take different forms
but it is there every day.
Some days it weighs on us more than others,
so much that you cannot breathe as if
crushed by the gravity of a
black hole in your heart-
it consumes all that it orbits
and not even light nor joy can escape its grasp.
Sometimes grief can be a burning sun
or a barren, cold moon
forsaken by its planet
all too long ago.

I wrap my heart in
shadow, silence and stone.
Now with so many walls,
I fear parts of me will
never see the
light again.

One of the best things
you can do for yourself is
to become comfortable
with the loneliness.
Learn to accept it-
you might even learn
to embrace the solitude
and all the shadows
as your company.
To learn to be okay with being alone
in a world so loud, so full of
crowds and temptations is
not just self care,
it is a form of art.

How solitary
and sublime these
winter nights have been.
I have always preferred
the shadows and silence
to the endless crowds
and commotion of
everyday life.

Is being alone
what scares me or that I feel
so lonely alone?

11:40 PM
10/10/24

My rocket crashed
into a long, lost moon
after you steered me off course.
How foolish I was to
trust you as its
commander through
unknown depths.

October,
the month of blossoms
and hopeful horizons.
Perhaps this hibernating heart
can come out again and
bask in the new sun-
perhaps it will thaw out
one last time.

My mind is
a kaleidoscope
of colorful thoughts
and bright memories
all too vivid to
comprehend
at once.

It still warms my soul
that you haven't forgotten me,
hell, you still think about me.
I poured all my love into your cup
and you have not spilt it
and turned away like
so many before.

Was I in love
with you or the idea
of you I had in my head,
my heart and my dreams?
Is it possible to be
heartbroken by
an idea?

Sometimes the best way
to love is to understand
your partner's silence

6:29 PM
10/10/24

Something tells me
that this withering sunflower
inside my chest will bloom again
once I find my way
back to you.

Distance is the bridge
that separates our two worlds-
A bridge I must cross.

8:51 PM
26/9/24

Only a night in Hong Kong
can save me now.
With you, hand in hand,
we can walk the Dragon's Back
and find that perfect lookout.
We can watch the sun set over
a city we never wish to leave-
over the neon lights that never seem to fade.
Your head on my shoulder,
we shield each other from Autumn's chill
and forget about our troubles
at least just for tonight.

I feel too much-
I know it all too well.
I hold on for too long despite
knowing when the flames have smothered.
My heart is in ruins and I am left
wandering through embers of
all those long lost memories.

I live only to
survive the nights that feel cold
and dark and lonely

10:48 PM
21/9/24

Sometimes I get the feeling
that my demons love me more
than my angels.
Maybe the fallen are the ones
who know how to lift you up
and maybe the empty ones
are the ones to make you feel whole.

Caught myself wishing
for a quick escape again-
guard up at all times.

10:35 PM
21/9/24

It feels like I am
drowning except everyone
around me can breathe

10:03 PM
20/9/24

Life was a kaleidoscope-
made up of the most vivid
colours and emotions and I
remember them like
they were yesterday.
But somewhere along the way,
it was as if a filter had been
placed over everything.
The colours still remain,
but are now lifeless and dull.
This washed out perception took its toll,
and soon these greys began to paint
this soul and all that it experienced.
Everything that made up the kaleidoscope-
the colours, emotions and experiences
now shades of grey-
shadows of their former selves.
It's an empty feeling to exist in
a world so vibrant when
all I see are shades of grey.

There is a palace
that awaits you-
where you can feel safe,
loved and cherished within its walls.
You will never have to share
it with another for it
was built only for you.
This palace is located in between
these two lungs and only you
hold the keys to its red walls.

My head is in the
galaxy and my thoughts are
spread across the stars

4:56 PM
9/9/24

For better or worse,
life happens without
asking us.
Of course I
am anxious.

Why do you expect
everyone to like you when
you don't like
everyone?

One day
we will meet again.
Our time in this life
was far too short and
it has left me with a broken heart,
a piece of me now missing forever.
I am now left to grieve
for the fact that I cannot watch you
grow into the person you supposed to be,
or that I will never see nor hold you again.
Nothing can prepare us for that kind of grief,
the kind that comes so suddenly
and is out of our control.
The only thing that keeps me going
is the hope that one day we
will meet again, not today,
maybe not tomorrow,
but our time will come
again.

We will meet again-
and our time together won't
be so short next time

10:30 AM
25/8/24

If I would have known
I would have called you more often
and make sure you were never forgotten.
If I would have known
I would have laughed extra harder
and made sure to smile even wider
If I would have known
I would have thanked you for being you
and being there for all we've been through.
If I would have known
I would not have taken you for granted
they way you made life more enchanted.
If I would have known
I wish I had opened up more
after all that's what family is for.
If I would have known
I would have hugged you even tighter-
yours had a way of making life lighter.
if I would have known
I would have told you that I love you
and this grief I wish I could undo.

Grief is a black cloud lurking above,
it shadows all who we dearly love.
One day it rains and drowns the soul
and we lose that love and pay the toll.

Rain turns to storm and life withers away
draining all the colour leaving nothing but grey.
Oh, how we wish we could turn back time-
to undo this remorse and break the paradigm.

Our tears fall like rain as we look back
at all the memories now faded to black.
But you will live on forever in my mind
as I have no choice but to leave you behind.

In this storm I am trying to find a way
out of this night and back into day
where I can find sun and solace in life again
and look back and smile from a place of zen.

I have done it once and I'll do it again,
to be my strongest every now and then.
Grief is a journey so very long and slow
but even in storms, new seeds can grow.

No one breaks your heart
more than yourself by over-
thinking everything

4:13 PM
16/8/24

None of us are
as big as the ocean,
but each one of us are drops
capable of causing a ripple.

We are just
ordinary poets in
an extraordinary world.
We have no fancy words nor meter-
what sets us all apart are our stories
and no one can take that
away from you.

Just because they have
a heart, does not mean they are
capable of love

6:51 AM
6/8/24

Silence comes in
many shades,
for good or for worse.
Sometimes the soul can take
solace in silence and
sometimes it can drown in it.
Other times we cannot tell the difference,
and we are left to decipher our soul
and what shade of silence
it chose today.

Now that you have seen
how I need my solitude
to escape bustle and burden
of everyday life and
how I need my silence
to escape these deafening crowds,
how I take refuge behind this
impenetrable heart of stone,
am I still easy to love?

We all have different
ways of healing.
For me, I need solitude,
so much solitude and silence.
To just be with myself and
my thoughts is how I
recharge that battery that
never had much spark
to begin with.

I am terrified
when I am not
feeling numb.

I am worrying
that I am worrying my
worrisome life away

4:51 PM
24/7/24

Some of us
favor our solitude
over the company of others.
We seek out silence like
the moon seeks out the night
because there are days when
our stars burn out and
running from the sun is
the only way to protect
their glorious glow.

Learning to look  at you from afar,
to not reach you with these hands,
to get used to the silence,
to become strangers
once again
is one of the
most difficult
lessons I have endured
and am still learning.

Maybe there
was no struggle.
Maybe it was me,
myself and my thoughts
all along.