How do I tell you
That the thought of your hands on me
Once where comfort slept
Suddenly sickens me
How do I tell you
The apologies weren't enough
That I don't forgive you
That I'm still angry

That I just don't love you anymore

For a thousand
Tiny
Unfair reasons

You hurt me
So I became disconnected
And I don't know how to connect
Me to you

Again.

Maybe I don't want to.

I understand you
Is what I told myself over and over
But never truly could see
I love you
Is what I told myself over and over
But never truly could feel
Never knew what it felt like
I just assumed the mind games and the conjoined pain
Was something like it

If it hurts its passion
We've all played that game
But we know the ending
Yes, the ending
Stays the same
No matter how many times
I replay it in my brain
I realized it wasn't ok

The past few days
Have been pain

Pain in my heart
In my head
In my chest
Shallow breath
This week has been nothing but tiring
I feel like I'm sleep walking
Stumbling into class
Not participating in friendly conversation
My friends come up to me
Ask me
Smile at me
I'm just in my own little world
I don't want company

I want sleep