Morpheus has never been
A kindly lover, nor precious friend
Yet in this stead, he strives to be
Replacement for reality.

Sominiferous ways that heat my blood;
Make my wilting spirits bud
Leave me wanting, never free
There on the cusp of reality.

Like morning mist, not half so pleasant
His remedies are evanescent
From where he lives behind my eyes
And plagues my shattered paradise.

He wears the exquisite carapace
For whom I yearn upon his face
And therein's where my torment lies
From golden skin and forest eyes-

From false reunions, makeshift bliss
From joining eyes and parting lips
Like cannon fire, the sound's refrain
Draw parallels to this cruel pain.

That Grecian Sandman, Morpheus
Lothario, for whom exists
To overchage the soul with hope
So poisonous, I gasp and choke-

Yet bodies, minds, and souls alike
Find inspiration from the strife
And haunted persons, like myself
Endure his falsehoods where we're held.

He haunts the dreamless, lucid world
Upon the cusp, the conscious swirl
His narrowed eyes, his blunted sight
Despise waking world of light.

Bring to me infinity
From where it dwells in lore
Or return with empty, wounded hands
And speak of it no more.
For if we are eternity
As one, when brought together
Why then do our faulty lips
Find pause upon "forever?"

I can feel it.
You'll be the person I wake up about
At 2 am.
The feeling that forces me out and onto the darkened streets
To wander in search of something I can't define.
I will know this city by your name.
I will find its joy and its melancholy because those feelings in me will bay like wolves until I let them lead me home.
Home...
Home is not inside of me, where it should be.
It is someone's eyes, someone's arms,
It could be
Yours
And THAT is the thought that will pull me along the shadowy paths that line the Thames
And through the forgotten alleyways that twist and tangle in the heart of this place.
I will love this city by your name, I know it.
Already I cannot sit still for it.
Already I can feel the mad urge to go, to search, to scour the night for reminders of you
For answers to impossible questions.
It is not an unpleasant darkness that tickles the edges of my mind
But it is
An insistent one.
I know I will not sleep when I am home
But rather follow this craving to some new, lonely place
And fill it with the expansion of my soul that comes with passion.
I need these empty places when I feel the echoes of love swell within me
Because I no longer seem to fit into the world
There no longer seems to be enough space for me.
Questing inside as I am
For evidences of love
Of safety
Of home,
The ache in me soon and easily becomes
Just too vast to sit with
Too full of motion to remain still around.

Lead me somewhere tonight.

Lead me to a temporary home
And let me breathe in cold, dark air as I try to sate my need for comfort
For contact
Help me find the roughness of stone beneath my fingers
And the kisses of the wind on my cheeks--
I want to touch the whole world.

There will be
No sleeping with this feeling tonight
And I couldn't
Even tell you why.
I couldn't even give you a reason
Except perhaps
That you have eyes
I could love.

All I've ever gotten in love
Is can't.
"I can't be your lover."
"You can't just say that."
"You can't
Be like this."
"You can't
Love me."

Be my yes.
Be my of COURSE.

I have a dream
A very dear dream.
I've written of it for years
Over and over.
My dream
Is that someday
I will be sitting by a dim window
Looking down
On a city street in the rain
Cupping a mug of hot, sweet tea in my palms
And thinking how perfect everything is.
And someone
Someone lovely
Someone warm and safe and beautiful
She will rise from our sheets- ours,
And put her arms around me,
Say
"Come back to bed, love."
And I will lean into her and she will smile and life
Will finally be the way I always wished it could.
I dream
That someday
I will be making breakfast at the stove with a soft cat winding between my ankles
And from behind she will hug my waist, kiss my neck, steal a bite of food and make me forget
To take the kettle off the heat
And it will sing shrilly while we kiss
Good morning.
I want her voice to be what I fall asleep to,
Velvety in my mind and soft in my ear,
Her fingers tracing my collarbones and my arms draped around her hips.
I want
To get lost with her
In every foreign city
And laugh because nowhere is lost
And everywhere is home
Because we are each other's port in every storm
And each other's lighthouse to find our way back to safe waters.
My dream is to smile my life away
And spend my seconds not like hard earned dollars but like pennies tossed into fountains- every one a wish, a promise, a celebration.
Be my yes.
Be my home.
Be the first person
To tell me I am allowed to dream
To wish
To be
Everything I am.
Be the first
To want it,
And I will give you the entire world.
I will write your name on every napkin corner poem I leave in every cozy cafe,
I will carve it into every park bench I read on in the summer sun,
I will whisper it
To every star I see in the night sky.
Please,
I'm inviting you-
Be my home. Be my hope.
Be
My
Dream.