Muddled thought, I tried to mend.
Unanswered questions, I cannot comprehend.
Poor heart was loaded with burdens;
feels like these took my haven.

I wondered the steps I'm still going to take.
Asked myself if this is for my own sake.
Cried out my vivid feeling;
hope that God was listening.

Filthy desire of freedom wanted to burst out,
before this heart's hope burnt out.
Time came when I wanted to disappear;
my soul was swollen with fear.

Days and weeks passed by;
a part of me was waiting for a lullaby.
I was hoping to filled this emptiness,
There might someone who couldn't careless.

I was trying to cope this feeling alone.
Wanted to go back in my comfort zone.
Eventually this tired heart surrendered.
Longed to God for me to be spurred.

One day, as the breeze touched my skin,
looking at the people whom to me were akin.
And as the sun glint onto my body,
I just suddenly perceived the love of the Almighty.

I presumed that this was the changed,
when I finally decided my struggles to be laid.
This was the reason why my soul was awaken.
He heard my bawl; carried all my burdens.

God brought my feet again on the track,
No worries for I know He got my back.
This tired heart finds rest on His arm,
Assuming this cold spirit will finally be given warm.

If every living thing in the world dies alone
Then let me be dead to you
So we never must be apart.

I can't erase the past, but I can change the future.I can't make the scars disappear, but I can make them fade.I will pave a new road of memoirs starting today.

i don’t know anymore
the parts of me that are genuine
from those which are stolen.
i just don’t know.

your golden statue does not quiver
the words that you sent three years ago
the cat licks his paw in the corner
he has forgotten by now.

the wild blue eyes that were tamed by your glasses
the thin silver rim against pale white skin
the way you would sway while playing your guitar
your gentle way of letting me in…

i knew the second i first saw you
that my life had changed
but it took a while to realize
that i would change too

i’ve taken bits and fragments
when no one was looking,
i threw out old pieces
to fit the new

three years have passed
the barista
the accountant
the librarian

all different versions of myself
yet still i can’t put my finger on it
i still don’t know what is left
what is it that was taken?

three years
and i’ve become
everything
that you would have
wanted me
to be.